My State of Mind
by undergoing malfunction
Summary: Time has changed. Now that you're older, you can see the world at it really is. The evil, depression, and temptation it holds. But are you able to handle it? Discontinued.
1. First morning

**Here ye, here ye! I'm excited to be writing another story, and of course, it's still IZ based... I've been on a craze. **

**I don't own Invader Zim, but I do own Dizzy. Simple, yiss?**

**-**

September 16th

5:00 a.m.

Zim groaned loudly as his 'alarm clock' began beeping out of control. At first he thought he was under attack, but then realized it was the small machine that Dib had given him for the first day of HighSkool. Zim despised it, but Dib told him that all normal humans had them. So Zim considered it. But after hearing it for the first time, his spider legs released themselves from his pak and continuously slammed the alarm clock into the wall until it was completely destroyed. Zim hated getting up this early, he had no idea why it was a requirment to be up at this time. But, if it makes him normal...

Zim slowly stood from his old, green couch ans stretched out his body. He had gotten taller since elementary school, but not as tall as a normal human child should have gotten. He was about... 5 feet tall? He was at least a foot or two shorter than Dib. He figured irkens had grown slower than humans did - which is another reason why the Tallest are so mighty. Zim looked out the window and saw that it was still dark, with little light peering from behind the buildings. He gave another groan. He hated earth's time.

Zim threw on a deep blue sweater Dizzy had made him. He wasn't fond of the coloring, so he put on a black jacket to cover it. There. Just like a normal, teenage human beast. He brushed his wig and popped it on, along with his contacts. He looked sort of like that 'Elvis' character Dib told him about... But he figured Elvis must have been normal. He grabbed his Skool books he required for his new Skool, stuffed it into his Pak and walked out the door.

The weather was cool in the mornings, but still had a hint of summer heat in it. The leaves slowly changes their colors, and some were already on the ground. Zim quietly chuckled as he stepped on the leaves and heard them crunch - like a bone cracking. Zim tried to stay quiet, even though he was the only one walking on the sidewalk. It was something about the dark atmosphere that made him want to stay quiet. In fact, it kind of spooked him to be walking alone.

Zim stopped crunching leave. He walked quietly on the sidewalk, looking around cautiously. Dib once told Zim a story about a little boy walking the streets alone, and then a horrible, ugly monster jumped out at him and ate him. He _really_ wished Dib wouldn't tell him such disturbing stories... And, unfortunately, if Dib wasn't the one telling them, it would be Gaz. Which made it a whole lot worse.

Zim flinched when he heard a leaf crunch. He stopped walking and scanned the area around him. Nothing was there. Then, he heard another... And another... And another... Until the sounds became louded and came closer... _Faster_... Until...

"AGH!" Zim screamed. "GET AWAY! GET AWAY! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU HORRIBLE, UGLY STINK - MONSTER! DO NOT DEVOUR MY INSIDES!"

Now, Zim heard a familiar laughing. He growled as Dib came up to him, laughing. "Geez, Zim!" He said. "You're such a baby! I can't believe you actually believed that story I told you!"

Zim punched Dib in the gut. He stopped laughing. "You horrible worm! That was not amusing!"

_"It was pretty darn amusing to me..."_ Dib said quietly. Zim growled. "Chill out, Zim. It was just a joke. You don't need to throw a hissy fit."

Zim grumbled quietly. This wasn't the first time Dib tried to scare him, and he _hated_ it. He hated the feeling of being scared. He couldn't understand why humans thought it was so amusing. They walked.

"So, what classes do you have?" Dib asked, trying to start up a conversation. Zim reached into his pak and pulled out a piece of paper.

"Eh... First I have something called _literature...Math...English...Health, or 'P.E'... Science... Computer class... And Social Studies._" Zim looked curiously at his paper. "Dib worm... What is Computer Class supposed to do?"

"I think you just learn how a computer works, and learn how to type words without looking at your keyboard." Dib replied. Zim chuckled.

"You humans' computers are so juvenile. I can easily figure out how it works with just one look at it!"

"Maybe." Dib said, pulling out his schedule. "But have you ever typed words into a computer without looking at the keys?"

"I can do that, easily!" Zim said, proudly. Although, once he tohught about it, he really didn't remember if he had those skills. But he confidently shrugged it off, knowing he'd do pleasantly in that class. "What is you schedule, Dib human?"

Dib looked into the paper and read aloud, "_Math... Social Studies...English...P.E... Science... Creative writing... and literature. _It seems we both have three classes together."

Zim moaned. He didn't look forward to sharing a class with Dib... He'd probably be all bossy and annoying, like he usually is.

The sky was lighter now. Zim and Dib continued to walk down the leaf covered sidewalk in silence. They were both obviously tired from waking up so early, which started up a conversation for Zim. "Why is it a requirement for us to awaken so early?" He asked. Dib sighed and looked to the streets.

"I don't know..." Dib replied. Zim raised an invisible eyebrow.

"What is wrong with you, Dib human? You have yet to give Zim a straight answer."

Dib once again sighed. He now looked at the sky. "I don't know..."

"Stop saying that!" Zim huffed. "You annoy me when you don't think straight, Dib worm.."

Dib didn't respond. He didn't know why he wasn't thinking straight today. Perhaps I'm tired, he thought. Yeah. That must be it. Besides, he had a rough morning to go along with it. He had to skip breakfast because Gaz and his dad were arguing again. Plus, Gaz seemed to think it would be funny if she pored the last of the milk over Dib's head. Things like this happened almost everyday, he named it the morning blues.

Zim noticed Dib was deep in thought. "What are you thinking about, Dib?"

"I don't-" Dib stopped. Zim would probably slap him upside his head if he finished that sentence. "Eh... Nothing."

Suddenly, Dib and Zim heard faint footsteps behind them. Then, a shrill, skippy voice called out, "Dib! Zim! Hay, wait up!" Zim and Dib looked behind them and saw Dizzy running toward them. Her Pink sweater and purple skirt rushed in the wind as she ran toward her two 'friends'. Zim was careful not to groan again once he saw her, because he knew Dizzy would make a big deal about it. Dib just smiled and waved back at her. When she finally caught up, she slowed down and walked in between Dib and Zim. "So Zim," She said, ending her panting. "Do you like the sweater?"

Zim turned bright red as Dib turned his head toward him and gave him a look, smiling. Dizzy just grinned at Zim, awaiting a reply.

"...Sweater?" Dib said, still smiling. Zim sighed and unzipped his jacket and revealed a blue, hand knitted sweater. Dib laughed out loud. Dizzy just smiled, thinking Dib liked it.

"Stop laughing, you foolish worm!" Zim yelled. But Dib continued to laugh. "It's not funny!"

The three friends continued to walk down the sidewalk, on their way to their first day of High Skool. As they teased each other, laughed at each other, secretly enjoying each other's presence, the sun rose from behind the buildings, painting the sky orange pink. The world seemed so beautiful at those times. But if you look a little deeper, you'll see the temptation, sadness and depression the trio were bound to experience.


	2. Broken glass, calm spirit

**Introducing chapter 2! I'm really starting to get 'in to' this story. Which is a good thing. The more I get into it, the better I write. If I write and I'm not into it, I write terribly. Mmmmk, let's get on with it!**

**I do not own Invader Zim... But I **_**do**_** own Dizzy. **

**-**

The sun was now high in the sky. The moment Zim, Dib and Dizzy stepped on the new school grounds, they all knew things would be different. Much different. The Skool was bigger, crawling with humans, in Zim's words. Dizzy was very excited once she saw the inside of the school, so she pulled Zim to thir first class. Zim once again groaned when he found out Dizzy had almost the same schedule as he did. Four classes, in fact. Fortunately, she forgot to drag Dib to his class.

Dib stood uncomfortably hundreds of teenagers passed him by in the hallway. His last school didn't have this many people. As he walked to his first class, he found some people staring at him. He wasn't used all the attention, so he walked alittle faster to his first period. As he sat in a random desk in the back of the classroom, it still seemed like people were looking at him. He could have sworn his math teacher also gave him a strange glance. He buried his face in a book, just to feel alone for awhile. After first period ended, he collected his homework and rushed out of the classroom, accidentally bumping into Dizzy.

"Hay, Dib!" She greeted gleefully. Dib cracked a smile. He somehow felt comfortable when Dizzy was around. "I'm about to go into math with Zim. Is it a hard class?

Dib shrugged. "Truthfully, I wasn't really paying attention." Dizzy never let go of her smile. She skipped into class, pulling behind her an annoyed Zim.

Dib came to his locker, number 423, and pulled out more books he needed for his next class. As he closed his locker door, an african american boy appeared from behind it. He stepped in front of Dib. Some other teenage boys surrounded him.

"You a funny lookin kid." Said the boy in front of Dib. Dib looked around - they were the only ones in the hallway.

"Uhm... Thanks.." Dib said quietly. He tried to get out of the circle of people, but they stopped him. Immediently, before he could think, the group slapped down his books, held him against his own locker, and beat him. One of the boys held his hand over Dib's mouth, making him unable to cry out for help. After the laughing, the insults, the beatings, they left him in the hallway. One boy gave Dib a last kick before they left, saying how fun it was to beat up the kid.

Dib searched for his glasses. He felt chunks of glass sitting on the floor, and realized those gang of kids must have broken them purposely. Accidentally, he cut the palm of his hand by laying it on a chunk of glass. He grabbed the rim of his glasses and looked through it - the magnifying glass was gone. Well, most likely on the floor. He threw the broken glasses across the hallway and struggled to lift himself from the floor. He only ended up tumbling over himself. He felt it would be better if he waited until class ended so someone - maybe Dizzy or Zim - could help him to the nurse.

His palm bled on the floor from the cut. Dib had a strange feeling come over him, and strangely... He liked it. He let the trail of blood continue its way onto the floor. He stared into nothing. He remembered this feeling - a long time ago. A feeling of calmness. All the worry and sadness he stored inside of him withered away for that moment. He stayed this way for 45 minutes until the dreaded school bell sounded, and all of those terrible feelings Dib had flooded back to him. No longer was he in his calm little world, but was now surrounded by hundreds of teenagers crowding the hallway. He couldn't see anything, but he heard them. He heard Dizzy's shriek of terror, and he knew that she had found him sitting there. Dizzy put her hands on Dib's shoulders, panting loudly.

_"Dib, what happened?!" _

_"Move away, Dizzy. Go get the nurse human."_ This was obviously Zim.

_"O-okay..!" _Dizzy said in a sort of panicky voice. Dib could hear her footsteps echo through the hallway. He could feel people staring at him again. He could feel _them_ staring at him. The ones who beat him in the first place.

Dib sat on the stool in the nurse's office. The nurse was kind enough to tell the principle to excuse him from his classes, and call his father to take him home.

He knew Dizzy was outside of the nurse's ofice, waiting eagerly to here if he was okay. He didn't look at her as she continuously peeked through the office's window. He lowered his head and stared at the floor. His red trench coat hung on a rack by the door, revealing many bruises going up his arm. He remembered the cut on his palm. He lifted his left hand from his side and stared at it. He remembered the good feeling he had. He remembered his peaceful, calm state of mind. How did it happen? Why did it happen as he felt this pain?

He put his questioning aside for now. He heard a knocking on the office door. "Son, are you in there?" Asked a familiar voice.

"Yeah, dad, I'm in here. You can come in." Dib replied. Dib wasn't all that happy to see his father. They barely talked anymore, and they never bonded in years. These days his father didn't care where he went or what he did. Dib was fine with that for awhile, but later on it got old. He missed his father's attention.

Dr. Membrane entered the room quietly. He sighed as he scanned Dib's body. "What happened, son?"

"Nothing." Dib said bluntly. His father didn't respond for a moment, then took Dib by the arm and lifted him form his seat.

"We'll talk about this when we get home." Dr. Membrane said. He let go of Dib's arm and started out the door. Dib knew what 'we'll talk about it later' meant. In code, it meant, 'No. I don't care what happened. I don't care you are hurt, and I'll leave you at home until you heal. Eat your vegetables.' And angry expression grew on Dib's face. He now hated being ignored. He grabbed the stool he sat in and threw it against the wall untill all of it's legs were completely broken off. H walked out the door to find a frightened irken girl, staring at him with big, scared eyes. She had heard him throwing the stool.

He didn't say anything to her. He just passed her by. She couldn't understand. No one could understand the anger building inside him was killing him.

When he hopped into his dad's car, there was an awkward silence. Dib was used to it. He reached into his backpack to take out his MP3 player, but his dad stopped him. "What happened at school, son? Who did this to you?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "You don't care."

"How can you say that?" Dr. Membrane said in a serious voice. "You know I care completely!"  
"No, dad. You completely don't."

After a few moments of his dad scolding him, the car became silent. Dib put the headphones to his ears and erased everything that his father said. Everything that happened today. He tried to go back into a peaceful state of mind again, but it was no use. His head was still filled with depression and worry.

"I'll get you some new glasses tomorrow." Dr. Membrane said. Dib ignored him. He was in his own world now.

-

**Sorry for updating so fast. I just wanted to get this chapter done.**

**This chapter in a nutshell: Dib was beaten in the hallway by some gang and was found by Dizzy and Zim - and pretty much everyone else, but no one was really a big help. Dib accidentally cut his hand on some glass while he was sitting in the hallway, and somehow was sent into a peaceful state of mind. A feeling he hadn't had in years. Angry at his father, Dib destroys a stool in the nurses office, leaving Dizzy completely frightened of him at that moment. **

**Stay tuned for chapter 3!**


	3. You could never understand

**Mkkk, Someone asked me in the review area if this story is a sequel to my story, ****This Sinking Ship of Doom.**** The answer is****no.**** This story is not a sequel to the other story. It's a brand new one, and sorry to disappoint anyone, but there never will be a sequel to The Sinking Ship of Doom. **

**Zim doth not belongest to meh. But Dizzy does.**

**-**

The lights were dimmed. It was around 6:30 in the afternoon. Dib's MP3 player was volumed to the max. It hurt his ears, but it was the closest feeling of calmness he could get to, except for the cut in his palm. But it wasn't the only reason Dib's music was so loud. Gaz and their dad were arguing downstairs. Again. It was like they were both angry parents, losing the love they had for each other in each fight they had. Music was the only way he could get away.

He turned his attention to the window. The sun was setting. Leaves danced in the wind by his driveway. Though it sounds like a peaceful moment, depressing thoughts still filled his head.

_I wish you were here, mom._

Dib was surprised at himself. He had never thought about his mom in a long time. He wished he never thought of his mother again. It only brought him more sad thoughts. He shed a tear as anxiety built up inside of his stomach.

_I wish you didn't die, mom._

He remembered the wave of depression his family went through after she died. Dib was so young. It was the only time he didn't see his father working. It was also the only time he hardly ever saw Gaz put her Vampire Piggy hand held game in her drawer. It was the first time he had experienced true sadness.

The anxiety in his stomach was really hurting him now. But he had nothing to get rid of the pain. The first thing that he did was punch the wall, but it wasn't enough. He bit his pillow. The pain still wouldn't go away. He yelled.

Gaz came in. She growled at him. "Shut your trap, Dib. Your voice is so freaking stupid and loud."

Dib sat up. He looked at Gaz. "Gaz," he asked, "do you miss mom?"

He could see the stunned expression on her face. He knew she hadn't thought about their mother, either. She turned away from him and was about to leave. She said, "Again, quiet down. _Idiot..._"

Dib didn't need an explanation. He knew she missed their mom - they all did. He was about to lay back down when he heard his sister's voice again, "Hey, Dib, some weird girl is at the door. She wants to talk to you."

Immediently, Dib ripped the earphones off his head and hopped off his bed. He was eager to talk to Dizzy and explain what happened back at school. He ran downstairs - almost tripping over himself - and casually walked to the door. There, stood a shy looking, green skinned girl. Holding his red trench coat. He looked away from her for a second, then looked back at her. He could tell she was trying hard not to start crying. He knew her well enough that she was very sensitive.

Dib could feel Gaz spying on them, so he motioned Dizzy to follow him onto the front steps. She followed.

The air was cool, almost cold. Dizzy didn't look at Dib as they sat on the front steps. No one spoke. Then, Dizzy held out his red coat.

"Y-you left this at th-the nurse's office..." She said quietly. "I w-was afraid someone would take it.."

Dib took it. "Thank you." He said. He could tell Dizzy was a tad frightened to be sitting near him. He sighed. "Dizzy, about what happened in the nurse's office..."

"It is none of my business." Dizzy said, finally looking at Dib. "I'm sorry for standing by the door, listening. I-I just wanted to know if you were okay.."

"Don't even apologize.." Dib said, feeling awful. "I actually kind of felt good, knowing someone was there. Oh yeah, please thank Zim for me. I know he helped me, too."

Dizzy slightly smiled. Dib knew she felt good when she knew she was helping someone. Dib slightly flinched when her hand moved to his. She lifted Dib's arm and stared at the bruises. She had no expression on her face.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." He lied. He was absalutely not fine. And Dizzy knew this. She let go of his arm. A sigh.

"I'm worried about you, Dib.." She admitted. Dib gave her a look. "You haven't been well, have you?"

"W-what do you mean?" He asked, nervous she might have detected his depression.

"Zim has told me you've been acting strange. I've seen this a few time myself. Please, Dib, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

Dib did not. He knew she wouldn't understand his feelings - he didn't even understand them half the time. She wouldn't understand the serenity he went through when a piece of glass merely cut his palm. _She just wouldn't understamd._

"Of course.'' He lied. "But don't worry, I'm fine."

Dizzy gave him a doubtful look. "O-okay." She finally agreed. She stood up, about to leave. She suddenly bent back down and gently kissed Dib's forehead. She happily ran off, giggling.

Dizzy was always something else, Dib thought. She did weird things, like randomly kissing her friend's forehead. He sighed. He actually found himself sad that the kiss really didn't mean anything - it was just something Dizzy did to her friends. He picked up the coat and walked inside. As he walked in the kitchen, wanting a drink of milk, he saw his father sitting at the table, looking at him.

"Dib..." His father said. "I need to tell you something."

Dib came closer to his father. "...Sure, dad. What is it?"

Dr. Membrane sighed. _"I lost my job."_

Dib's eyes grew. "W-what? What do you mean..?"

Dr. Membrane explained it all. He told Dib he had made another toast experiment, and the toast burned. Then his boss had fired him for ruining the experiment.

"Does Gaz know?" Dib asked.

"Uhm... Yes. Actually, she has for awhile now.." Dr. Membrane looked away from Dib. _"For about 3 months now..."_

Dib was shocked. He couldn't believe it. His father has been out of work for 3 months, and they kept it from him for so long. He couldn't believe his father faked going to work for 3 months.

_"...What? WHAT?!"_ Dib exclaimed, standing from his seat. His father looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, son." He said, standing with him. "You see, Gaz and I have noticed you've become... Well... depressed. I'm not sure you haven't experienced this feeling before, but depression is-"

"I know what it is!" He exclaimed. "I've always know what is was! I've know it since the day mom died, I've know it for years! I know it now! I feel it every freaking day! The only way I can escape it is to listen to my music in my room! I do this because you and your daughter keep ARGUING! I AM SO FREAKIN TIRED OF YOUR LIES, DAD. I AM TIRED OF YOU GIVING MY SISTER HER ATTENTION AND NEGLECTING ME. I'M SICK OF YOU PRETENDING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH. EVERY DAY I FEEL ANXIETY SO MUCH I NEED TO PUNCH THE WALL TO GET RID OF IT - AND THAT DOESN'T EVEN WORK MOST OF THE TIME. STOP LYING, STOP PRETENDING, BECAUSE IN REALITY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!"

His father was infuriated. "And what makes you so sure that I don't understand?"

Dib laughed sarcastically. "How could you possible understand? You have no idea what I'm going through. You have never felt this kind of pain before."

Dr. Membrane didn't respond. He had enough. He walked out of the kitchen. Dib ran to his room.

Dib jumped on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. He was sick of his father's lies, pretending he understood what he was going through. He put on his headphones and pumped his MP3 player up to full volume. He actually felt good. He let out all of his anger and told his dad how he really felt. He felt refreshed.

_Only mom could understand..._

Dib once again stared out the window, then looked at the scar in his palm.

_...Wouldn't she?_

Dib closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. He dreamed about today, about those guys who beat him. About the peaceful state of mind he had once his palm was cut... About the glass on the floor...

Dib awoke from his dream. He knew what he wanted...

He needed to find the broken glass.

-

**Muehehe! This chapter is pretty dramatic. Poor Dib finally unleashes his feelings to his father, and it pretty much crushes Dr. Membrane. Dib decides that the broken glass, and the cut in his palm, had given him a happy state of mind. Something he has never felt in years. This is where is real problems begin.**

**Stay tuned for chapter 4! (P.S. - I fixed up some errors I noticed in chapter 1, so yeah.)**


	4. Don't leave me alone

**ajskdlf;**

**NEED MORE COMMENTS. Hehe... But no pressure. Take your time. I know I'm rushing the chapters, but I'm excited to be writing this story. Mmk.**

**Invader Zim Belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Dizzy belongz to meh. Simple.**

**-**

Dr. Membrane sat, disturbed at his son's behavior. But he couldn't blame him. He should have told him about what happened to him and his job. He just wanted to protect his son. He was worried about him.

He opened one of his desk drawers with a silver key he kept in a cabnet. There in the drawer, was a little black box. He opened it and sighed. Painful memories returned to him as he picked up the thin, silver object from the box. A razor blade.

Zim was confused as he made it to the front steps of the High Skool. He realized he was early, but he should have met Dib there already. Dizzy wasn't even there yet. He sighed and sat on the steps. Suddenly, he heard a hoarse, low voice call to him, "Hey, you, green kid." Zim found the person calling him, an african american tennage boy leaning against a wall. He held a brown and white box in his hands. He smiled at Zim.

"What is it, low voiced human?" Zim asked, turning to the boy.

"Come ere." Said the boy. Zim's curiosity struck him, and obeyed the boy. He cautiousely moved toward the boy. Zim jumped when the boy held out the brown and white box to Zim. "Take it. It's good fer ya."

Zim carefully took the box and studied it. He pronounced the word on the front; _"Ci...Cigarettes."_

The boy nodded, still smiling. He then handed Zim a lighter. "Click it." He said. Zim clicked the button on the lighter and flinched when a small, flickering flame appeared from nowhere.

"Why are you giving these tools to me, human?" Zim asked. "I have no use for it." He held out the lighter and box of cigarettes, expecting the boy to take it. The boy refused it.

"Trust me, man, you need this stuff." He said. His bloodshot eyes never left Zim's. The boy popped a cigarette in his mouth and lit it with his own lighter. He took it out and smoked came from his breath. Zim watched in disgust. "It makes you feel strong.."

Zim once again stared at the box of cigarettes. _...Strong?_

Suddenly, Zim dropped the box and the lighter. The boy stared at it, suprised that Zim didn't smoke on it. "I don't believe such nonesense." Zim said, proudly. "I learned about these little tube things in elementary skool. It's common sense not to take them."

The boy glared at Zim angrily. "You's just a wimp. Afraid to take a cig." Then, he picked up the box and lighter, and went inside of the building. Zim stared angrily at the spot where the boy stood.

"ZIM IS NO WIMP!" He exclaimed suddenly. "ZIM JUST HAS... Common sense..." He stopped.

"_...It makes me feel strong?"_

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Dizzy standing there, smiling. "Hay Zim, have you seen Dib?" Zim shook his head. "Oh, okay. I'm sure he'll come along soon enough. Want to walk me inside?" She asked. Zim sighed and shrugged. It wasn't like he had a choice.

It was lunch time. All the kids were out of class and in the cafeteria. It was the perfect time to sneak into the hallway. Dib quietly walked to his locker, but once he saw the spot he where he was beaten, he eagerly fell on the floor and looked for the glass. Nothing. Dib could have taken a knife from the kitchen, but his father or Gaz would surely notice it being missing. He continued to look on the floor. Nothing. _The janitor must have sweeped it all up,_ he thought. Just as he was about to give up, he saw something shiney sit under his locker. He quickly layed on the floor and reached for the piece of glass. He held it in his hand. He stared at it.

Dib stuffed the piece of glass in his pocket and ran to a nearby bathroom. He ran inside a stall and sat on the toilet. He took off his coat and reached for the glass. He dropped his coat on the floor before he put the glass to his skin, and slowly dragged the glass across his palm, leaving blood pour from his hand. He bit his lower lip as the physical pain came in. But it was just as he suspected. The calm, peaceful state of mind came back to him, and the depression and worry washed away. He smiled as his blood dripped onto the tiled floor. He quickly cleaned it with toilet paper. He enjoyed this.

He calmly walked from the bathroom, acting like nothing happened. He put some makeup on the cut, so there would be no questions. He went to his locker to get some books. A great anger filled him once he saw _them,_ the ones who beat him. He felt like he needed a good _cutting_...

Dib ignored his cravings, and turned his attention to the gang of thugs coming toward him. They all smirked and smiled as they came closer to Dib. But somehow, Dib didn't walk away. He looked them all straight in the eyes, ready for anything they threw at him.

"Hey, you enjoy dat lil gift we gave you yesterday?" The appearant 'leader' of the gang said. Dib just continued to glare at them. "If he ain't runnin, he must want some more."

"Shut up." Dib said. The group became silent.

"What you say, big head kid?" One asked. Dib clenched his fist and shoved it into the leader's stomach as hard as he could. The others gasped as the grungy friend dropped to the ground, holding his bloody stomach. Dib smiled as he uncurled his hand, holding a bloody piece of glass. He had cut the boy's stomach. The boy's 'gang' abandond him, fearing Dib would hit them next. The troubled teenage boy cried out in agony as blood poored onto the floor from his stomach. Dib merely stared at him.

"Stay out of my way." Was all Dib had said to the boy. He then left the hallway, leaving the boy there by himself. Dib had enough of people stepping all over him. He had enough of people hurting him because he was different. _He was sick of forgiving people for all of the awful thing they had done._

Dib intened to walk home alone, but Zim had caught up to him. He realized he hadn't talked to Zim at all yesterday. "Dib, where were you today? I was unable to find you in our classes."

Dib shrugged. "I was sick. But I'm better now..."

"Very well." Zim agreed. "The informative human has given me the burden of giving you your homework. So here." Zim handed two books to Dib. He took them without a word. After a few more steps of silence, Zim became annoyed.

"You are not yourself, Dib human." Zim said. "It's annoying."

Dib looked at Zim. "Uh, yeah, sorry."

"Don't give me your lies, Dib worm." Said Zim in an angry tone. "I want to know the truth."

"There is no truth." Dib lied. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Fine." Said Zi doubtfully. "Hey, did Dizzy talk to you yesterday?"

"Yes."

"Eh...Well... What did she say?"

Dib gave Zim a look. "Why do you care?"

"Just tell me!" Zim exclaimed, not looking at Dib.

"Alright, alright, jeez..." Dib said. "All she did was return my trench coat I left at school. She said she was worried about me, and told me if there was anything wrong, I could tell her. Anyway, why are you wanting to know?"

"It's nothing." Zim said.

"Oh, _now_ who's not acting like himself?" Dib teased. Zim gave him a gentle push, and they both ended up laughing over each other.

"Hey, where _is_ Dizzy, anyway?" Dib asked.

"Eh... I don't know.." Zim replied. "I waited for her after school, but she never came."

Dib chuckled. "You _waited_ for her?"

"Shut your noise tube, Dib worm! I've become acustomed to Dizzy. She follows me around everywhere, so I see no use in running anymore."

Suddenly, Dib started laughing. They both stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Zim stared at Dib, confused.

"You _like_ her, _don't you?_" Dib asked, still laughing. Zim turned red with anger. "Don't be rediculous, you annoying human bug! She is nothing more than a companion, who seems to be clingy and loud! That is all I think of her."

"Sure, Zim," Said Dib. "_sure._"

After walking a few more blocks, Zim started up another conversation. "Hey, eh, Dib... Am I allowed to talk with you?"

Dib gave Zim another look. "Zim, we always talk."

"_No,_" Zim said in a annoyed voice. "I mean _talk. _Am I allowed to tell you something that may be important?"

"You mean a _talk?_ Like frie-" He stopped. "I mean, _companion to companion?_"

"Yes, that." Zim said.

"Eh... Yeah, I guess." Dib agreed.

"Well..." Zim and Dib stopped and sat on a bench. The endless walking was getting to them. "You see, I ran into someone this morning at the beggining of our higher leveled Skool, and he offored me a _box of cigarettes._"

Dib's eye grew wide. "_Cigarettes?_" He said. "You refused, right?"

"Of course!" Zim said mightily. "Zim is not weak enough to give in to such small, disgusting, dirt filled tubes. But, what I wanted to ask you was, what do they do to you?"

Dib shook his head. "Don't even worry about it." He said. "You refused to take them, and that's all that matters."

Zim shrugged. But what the teenage boy told him, about the cigarettes making him feel strong, sparked his curiosity. Perhaps... Maybe... He would meet the boy the next morning?

Zim and Dib continued their walk. When they finally came to Dib's house, they waved goodbye, and Zim watched as Dib walked into the front door of his home. He knew there was something wrong with Dib, but decided to let it go for now. It was probably none of his business, anyway.

As Zim came toward his home, he found a very disturbing sight. Dizzy, a usually happy and excited girl, was sitting at his front step, sobbing loudly and covering her face with her hands. Zim rushed up to her, eager to know what was wrong.

"Dizzy!" He said. "W-what happened? What's wrong?"

Dizzy didn't lift her face from her hands. She continued to cry. Zim was forced to lift her head to get her attention, but suddenly let go at the real reason Dizzy was crying. Blood was smeared across her cheek and mouth, with a bruise on her forehead. Zim's eyes grew wide at the sight. Immediately, he took her inside his house, pushing away his robot parents. He sat Dizzy on his couch, still crying in fear and pain, and went into the kitchen. "GIR!" He shouted. "Get over here!"

Suddenly, a small, red eyed robot flew out of the toilet in the kitchen and appeared in front of Zim. "Yes, my lord?"

"Bring me the medical kit, Dizzy has been injured!"

The little robot's eyes suddenly turned from red to a cyan color. His face was full of worry. "Is she okay?!?"

"Just hurry up and bring me th-"

Without a second thought, the robot ran off. About two second later, he rushed into the living room with the medical kit and handed Dizzy a tissue. Zim rushed in after them.

"W-w-what happened?" Gir asked, confused.

"Dizzy, what _did happen_?" Zim followed. Dizzy whiped her tears and looked away from them, unable to answer their questions.

"Alright, alright." Zim said. He was about to sit next to Dizzy, but was stopped by Gir, who stole his spot. He growled at him. "No need to answer any questions right now, we can see you are upset. If you want, you may sleep on my couch - _again - _tonight."

Dizzy carefully nodded. "_Thank you..._" she said quietly. Zim groped thorugh the medical kit, looking for anything might help. "Gir," he said, "Bring me an ice pack from the freezer! Now!"

"Yessir!" Gir obeyed. As he went into the kitchen, Zim was careful not to stare at the blood smeared on her face. He approached her.

"Uhm..." He hesitated. "May I take a look at your face? It looks serious." Dizzy nodded, still not looking at him. He knelt down, reached into the medical kit for a tissue and began carefully wiping the blood off her face. Tears still ran down her face. Soon, Gir came rushing back, waving an ice pack in the air.

"I gots it!" He shouted. Zim put a finger to his lip, motioning Gir to be quiet. Gir just smiled and handed the ice pack to Zim. He threw the bloody tissue at Gir, who gladly put it into his hallow skull.

"Lay back on the couch," Said Zim. "Then I'll put the icepack on your head."

Dizzy obeyed. Shakily, she laid on the green couch, her head laying on the couch's arm. Zim carefully placed the ice filled pack on her green forehead. "I'll get you a pillow and blanket." He offored. Dizzy shook her head. Zim gave her a confused look. "Are you sure?" He asked. Dizzy nodded.

"Gir," Zim whispered, "Go play with your piggys."  
Gir gave a slight happy shriek, then went off to play with his toys. Zim sat on the couch, next to Dizzy.

"Do you wish to be left alone?" He asked. Dizzy shook her head. She once again covered her face with her hands and began crying. Zim panicked. "D-don't cry!" He said. "W-would you like some waffles?" Zim nearly slapped himself.

Dizzy's wimpering became more quiet as Zim laid his hand on her shoulder. He wanted answers. She knew Dizzy didn't do this to himself - someone else had hurt her. It couldn't have been Dib, could it? No... He knew how much Dib and Dizzy were clsoe friends... But still...

Zim sat with Dizzy for the night, laying a hand of comfort of her shoulder.

-

**A/N: I do realize that I might have overly used violence in this chapter, but that's pretty much why the story's rated T.**

**This chapter in a nutshell: First off, poor Dr. Membrane remembers painful memories as a child by taking out his hidden razor blade he used to injur himself with. Afterward, Zim gets to school early and runs into a teenage boy, who offers him a box of cigarettes. He refuses, but when the boy tells him the cigarettes will make him feel 'strong', he is tempted. When lunch time comes around, Dib sneaks into school, finds a peice of glass on the floor, and begins to cut himself in the bathroom. On Zim's way home, he finds Dizzy at his doorstep, injured and crying. As he takes her into his home, he worries that someone - maybe even Dib - may have hurt her. He intends to find out.**

**Stay tuned for chapter 5! **


	5. Addicted

**Introducing chapter 4! In this chapter, you read about the story? Exciting, yiss? Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter, and I thank everyone who reviewed!**

**I don't own Invader Zim, but I own Dizzy - the cute, happy, clingy and annoying irken.**

**-**

It was around 11:00 at night. Dizzy was unable to sleep. She stared out the window, at the night sky. Thousands of silver stars dotted behind the few, gray clouds. The full moon glowed. A lovely sight. Dizzy tried to forget about what had occured today, but it was all too real - too painful - to seem like a dream. She was thankful Zim took her in, she'd never be able to fall asleep in her own, lonely house. She refused to talk about what happened yesterday after school, but now that she was in Zim's house, she'd have to tell him what happened.

Dizzy heard footsteps. She quickly shut her eyes. The footsteps came closer, until she knew someone was in the same room as her. Then, she felt a soft, fuzzy fabric fall over her. A blanket. She felt something sit next to her on the couch. She was tempted to open her eyes. Then, she heard a voice. "I know you are awake."

Dizzy carefully opened her eyes. She looked to Zim, who was sitting next to her, looking at her. She quietly sighed. "_Thank you for the blanket._" She said. Zim nodded. "What happened?" He asked. Dizzy sat up. She sat the ice pack on the floor next to her.

"Before school ended," She said, "I was at the library. An injured teenage boy told me to go outside with him. He looked like he needed help, so I followed. Then..." She stopped. The memory haunted her again. Zim bit his lower lip. Oh yes, he intended to get this boy who had hurt Dizzy.

Zim was surprised when Dizzy scooted herself toward him and hugged him. He was uncomfortable, but didn't push her away. To his surprise, it was kind of enjoyable.

Morning came. Dib prepared himself for school. He grabbed his books, his backpack, his MP3 player, and a razorblade he had unscrewed from his pencil sharpener. He dropped it into his pocket, and slipped out of his house, without a word to anyone. He was careful to avoid his dad, who was in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading the paper. It wasn't like Dr. Membrane to be up so early, so Dib knew his father wanted to talk to him. But Dib didn't want to talk, so he avoided his father. He ran down the side walk, in case his father spotted him through the window. Suddenly, he ran into Zim, who wasn't standing far from Dib's house.

"What's up?" Dib asked, nervously passing his green friend by. Zim ran back up to him.

"Why did you just run away from your house? You are not late to school." Zim asked. Dib stared at him for a moment, thinking of a reply.

"Uhm..."

"Is everything okay?"

That caught Dib by surprise. Zim had never asked such a question. He didn't think Zim would actually care about what happened in his life.

"Uh, yeah, everything's fine." He lied. Zim raised an invisable eyebrow.

"No." He said. "No, it is not. Stop lying to Zim."

Dib panicked. He knew Zim was on to him, and so was Dizzy. He had to change the subject. "Did you find out what happened to Dizzy? Why didn't we see her walk home?"

A hurt expression fileld Zim's face. He looked away. "Someone beat her. I found her bleeding and crying on my doorstep. God knows what else might have happened to her."

A flow of rage and anger filled Dib's soul. Immediately, he knew who it was. Ignoring Zim, he ran through the darkness until he reached the Skool. Once he finally saw _him,_ he nearly toppled over in pain from anxiety. He managed to keep himself up, and ran over to the boy. The boy smiled when he saw Dib coming.

"You've got a pretty girlfriend." The boy said, still smiling. Dib grabbed the boy's neck.

"You'd better stop toying with my friends, or I swear I'll kill you!" He exclaimed. Slight fear entered the boy's eyes. He stopped smiling. "But don't think you're going to get away with this." Dib reached into the pocket, still holding on to the boy's neck, and took out his razor blade. He held it up to show the boy, who now struggled to slip away from Dib's grasp.

"Unfortunately for you," Dib continued, "I've been in a really bad mood lately."

Afterwards, Dib managed to slip away from the skool unnoticed. Leaving the injured, bleeding boy to tend to himself until someone found him.

Zim sat in the cafeteria confused. He knew Dib ran to Skool, then why wasn't he here? Something was going on. He didn't like it. He quickly threw away his food tray and took a walk outside. He became stressed at all of the terrible happenings. Dizzy was hurt... Dib was keeping things from him... His head hurt. As he walked through the Skool yard, curiosity struck him again when he saw that boy again, smoking another cigarette. Zim went towards him.

"You, smoking human," he said, "why do you put such disgusting, dirt filled object in your mouth? Then burn them with fire?"

The boy chuckled. "I told you man, it makes me feel strong. I'm addicted." Zim looked confused, which made the boy smile more.

"_Addicted?_" Zim asked. "But doesn't being addicted to something mean you have surrendered yourself to it?" The boy shook his head.

"Nah, man, it just means you like it too much to give it up."

"But how could you like _that_ so much? It's disgusting." Zim said, staring at the box of cigarettes. "Doesn't it make you sick or something?"

"At first you might think it's kina gross," The boy said, suddenly staring into space. "But then you just can't stop. That isn't surrendering, ma friend, that's addiction. It's not a bad thing, it makes you feel good."

To Zim's surprise, a hint of temptation struck. His own mind tempted him to take the box. _Maybe... maybe just one? Just one. Then I'll stop. No small, disgusting tube of dirt can overpower Zim. _He continued to stare at the box. _Besides, the smoke - human says it's suppose to make me feel good. Strong. Maybe just one._

Zim took the box. He smiled. _Maybe I could even give one to Dizzy,_ he thought. _Maybe this can make her feel better. Like medicene. _Zim lit the cigarette and popped it into his mouth._ Just one._

On the way home, Zim once again ran into Dib. This time, Zim was determined to know what was going on with Dib. He walked toward him and stood in front of him as Dib sat down on a bench.

"Where were you at school today?" He asked. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Dib said, staring at his hands. He didn't bother looking at Zim. Zim became angry.

"Stop it!" He yelled, "Zim wants to know the truth! I am sick of hearing your lies! Tell Zim the truth!"

"Just shut up, Zim!" Dib shouted back, still not looking at his friend. "Mind your own business!" Suddenly, Dib quickly looked up at Zim. He smelled something peculiar.

"...What the heck do you have in your mouth?" Dib asked the angry irken. Zim glared at him, but then smiled.

"A stress relieving tube object." Zim answered. "Eh... I mean a cigarette."

"You idiot!" Dib said, standing from his seat. "Take that out of your mouth! Who gave that to you?!"

"Do not call Zim an idiot! And I will not take it from my mouth. It relieves me."

"It destroys you!"

Zim smirked. "Says you, earth stink. I am going to feed one to Dizzy, so she can feel better also." Dib glared at Zim in furiosity.

"If you even come within 50 feet of her while holding a cigarette, I swear I'll-"

"Lie to us even more to keep us from finding out some secret you seem to be keeping? Why don't you take you own advice and mind your own business, Dib worm?"

Dib growled, something Zim would usually do. "It's my business now, Zim. I knew people who smoked, and every last one of them died from lung cancer!"

Zim once again smirked. "I don't have lungs." He said.

"No, but you _do_ have organs. And if you continue to smoke, you'll damage them! And there's no way I'm letting you give cigarettes to Dizzy... no way. I won't allow you to put her life in danger." Dib gave Zim another glare. "I never thought you'd give in to addiction, Zim. It's kind of surprising."

"Addiction is not a loss of self control!" Zim exclaimed. "Addiction is just liking something too much to give it up!"

"Who the heck told you that?!" Dib asked angrily. "Face it, Zim, you've been tricked into smoking cigarettes. Now stop smoking, or you'll never be able to stop!"

"YOU LIE!" Zim shouted. "My stress and worries dissapear when I smoke these dirt filled tubes! I will not give up such a calm state of mind because _you_ just think I should!"

"You know what," Dib sighed, "whatever. Go ahead and kill yourself. But I've had love ones who've died from smoking Zim, and I'd hate to speak at your funeral."

Zim, trying to ignore Dib's comment and not succeding, just gave him a look. "Solve your own problems first, Dib human. If you hadn't lied to your own companions in the first place, I might have listened to you." With that, Zim looked away from Dib and continued down the sidewalk. Dib sighed and sat back down on the bench. He stared at the cloudy skies. He felt terrible about lying to his friends - yes, he said _friends_ - but he couldn't tell them. He just couldn't. Dib knew if he told somebody - anybody - they'd force him to stop. And he couldn't do that. He was addicted. If only Zim knew what kind of danger he was in... Dib knew he couldn't stop his friend now. It was too late. But he knew that after he shouted at Zim, he couldn't possibly give a cigarette to Dizzy. Dib knew he frightened Zim alittle with what he told him. At least he could save Dizzy from this.

Dib picked up his back pack and put his razor blade in his pocket. He had a sprinkle of guilt for shouted at his father the other day, but not enough to tell him the truth.


	6. A trip to the basement

**a;sldkfj**

**Welcome to chapter 6, where magical things happen. Please enjoy another disturbing chapter!**

**I pwn nowt nuttin.**

**-**

A cool breeze brushed up against Dib's face. Every day seemed to get colder and colder. But not because the seasons changed, because Dib _felt_ colder. He felt like he had changed. He never kept anything from his family, especially not his paranormal studies. He didn't like the feeling of keeping a secret, especially something that could really hurt him.

It didn't matter. He wasn't going to tell them. This wasn't something you could talk to your family about, especially since Dib yelled at his father. He wondered if his dad would even speak to him... Even look at him.

Dib was now on his doorstep. He held his backpack in his hand, his back was tired from carrying it. He carefully searched through the windows to see if his father or Gaz was in sight. Dr. Membrane was not there, probably in his lab. Gaz was sitting on the couch, watching TV and playing her video game. Gaz probably took the bus home, which was why she was here already. Dib sighed in relief. He was defiantly not ready to face his dad yet.

He threw his backpack over his shoulder and casually knocked on the door. It was immediately answered by a angry looking, purple haired girl. Gaz. She growled at her brother. Before Dib could say a word, Gaz grabbed Dib by his collar and violently threw him through the doorway, leaving his body sprawled on the ground. He looked up at her.

"Hey! Why did you-" Dib's sentence was cut off.

"Because you're a total idiot! What the heck did you do to dad?! He locked himself in his lab all day! He never spoke to anyone at all!" She shouted, now in ihs face. Her amber eyes peirced Dib. They always seemed to do that.

"I-I didn't d-do anything!" He quickly replied, afraid of making her angry.

"Liar! It's always you! Dad is upset, and I want to know why!"

At this point Dib was angry. He knew it was really his fault that hid dad was this way, but what Gaz said, 'it's always you', got to him. He stood up. "No, you're the liar! It's never me! Every day I have to put up with hearing you and dad's arguments! All I do is sit back and watch! What the hell could you two possibly be arguing about every day!?"

Gaz's eyes flashed open in shock. Never before had her lowly brother yelled at her before. She was surprised. And hurt. She searched herself to find something to yell back at Dib, but found nothing. She stared at her brother, dumbfounded. She turned away, staring through the screen door.

"He's ashamed of me." She said quietly. Dib's eyes widened in shock.

"W-what? Ashamed? Why?" A worried expression appeared on his face. Was his father really telling his daughter these things?

Gaz crossed her arms and slowly turned back to her brother. She didn't look at him. She hid her sad expression with an angry look. "I'm not what he wants me to be. My grades have dropped. He's constantly recieving calls from my stupid teachers because I mis behave in class. He thinks i'm wasting my talents by wanting to be a graphic designer, when I could study science like him. He wishes I would change. Are you happy now?" She glared at him.

Dib couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was this really dad she was talking about? He was never like this when they were young... How could he do this to his daughter? Yelling at her? Wanted to change her?

"It's none of your business." Gaz said. She unfolded her hands, turned around and quietly climbed upstairs to her room. Dib watched her go, not knowing what to think. This couldn't have been their _father_ Gaz was talking about. He always used to support our dreams, Dib thought. Well, Gaz's dreams anyway. He remembered his father always told him he needed to study _real_ science, instead of the parascience Dib was always interested in.

He was scared at the thought. Was his father angry because none of his children wanted to be a scientist like he wanted them to be? Did he hate them because they weren't like him? He needed to talk to Dr. Membrane. _Now_. Dib quickly ran to the hallway, angrily looking for the basement door. He opened the last door in the hallway and quietly walked down the steps to his father's lab.

Only one light was on in the basement. A blue, faint light hovered over his father's work desk. There, Dib found his father - or what seemed like his father. He quietly walked toward the shadow of the man Dib once knew. _"Dad?"_ He said softly. the man flinched. Dib could see his father slowly turn his head towards his son, but then quickly turned back. Dib was unable to see his dad's face because of the darkness. Dib continued to approach him.

"D-dad?" He said with a stronger voice. He stopped, waiting for an answer from his father. Nothing. Dr. Membrane acted as if there was only him in the room. Dib noticed he wasn't even doing anything - just sitting there, staring into darkness. Dib looked closer at his father's desk - the only thing sitting on the desk was a lamp, and a picture of his father and Dib's mother when they were younger. Dib's heart filled with grief.

_"What are you doing in here, son...?" _Dr. Membrane finally said. He didn't move. Dib suddenly became scared - and guilty. He carefully took another step toward the dark figure. Dr. Membrane still didn't look at his son. _"Get out."_ Dr. Membrane said. Dib jumped as his father spoke in such an angry voice. He looked up at his father.

"Dad... w-what... I-I need to talk to you." Dib hesitated. Never before has he been afraid to speak to his father. Not until now. Membrane still did not move.

_"GET OUT."_Membrane repeated loudly. Dib decided it would be best to leave. He gave his father one last look before exiting the basement quietly. He felt completely guilty. He told his father that he couldn't have understood the pain he was going through, but it turned out, his father really did understand. He _did_ know what anxiety was. He _did_ know what Sadness was. Sadness over the loss of a beloved.

Dib quietly shut the basement door behind him. The house was completely silent. Anxiety filled Dib's chest. He took a deep breath. He needed to talk to Gaz. He knew he had upset her. He didn't mean it. He was tired of people not understanding what he was going through... But it turned out the rest of his family knew exactly what he was going through. They just did a good job of hiding it.

Dib slowly climbed the staircase. His mind replayed the same image of his father sitting in darkness over and over. And the picture of his parents... He felt horrible.

Dib knocked on the door of Gaz's room. He didn't know what to say to her, but maybe he could comfort her in a way. He knocked again. He just wished his dad would have said something before, he should have known his family was here for him. Then again... Would Dib have comforted his father after lying to him and never paying attention to him? He didn't know. He knocked once more. Still no answer. He knocked harder. Nothing. "Gaz, you in there? It's me, Dib. I need to talk to you."

He knocked again. _Still_ no answer. He had no choice but to go inside. "I'm coming in, ok?" He opened the door. He gasped when he saw that the room was completely destroyed. Books scattered on the ground, clothes, posters ripped off the walls, Gaz's box of pencils laying next to wall, scattered pencils surrounding it. Almost everything that once had a place was now scattered along the carpet. Dib noticed the window was open, and Gaz was nowhere to be found.

-

**Sorry about the short-ish chapter, the next chapter will be longer.**

**I'm honsetly getting tired of those 'chapter in a nutshell' things. No one really needs them.**

**In the next couple of chapters I'll have some POV's, then it'll go back to normal. SO STAY TUNED.**


	7. Gaz's POV

**- Gaz's POV - **

I'm glad Dib didn't follow me upstairs, he would have tried to 'reason' with me. he'd probably defend Dad or something, maybe even try to get me and Dad to 'talk'. Talking with my Dad wouldn't do anything. Dad hates me, and no chat with him can change that.

I can't help that I didn't turn out how he wanted me to be. I'm just me, and that's all I can be. I can't change the way I am. I don't _want _to change the way I am. I like who I am, even though I am a disturbing, rude teenager. It's just the way I am.

I was surprised when Dib began to yell at me. Am I changing? Why did Dib suddenly think he could yell at me? I suppose he must have been pretty angry with me. I knew he was angry since Dad didn't pay much attention to him, but I consider him lucky. He thinks Dad is spoiling me, but the only attention he gives me is when he yells at me.

Why is Dad so upset anyway? Sure, he got fired from his job, but that couldn't possibly be the reason he's so depressed now. When Dad was in the basement all day, I tried to get him to talk to me, but he just told me to go away. Was it because we always argue? Did I upset him? I know I blamed it all on Dib, but I just want answers. I hate this sad vibe in the house. I wish everything could go back to normal.

I think Dib is hiding something. He's been acting really weird lately. Now a days when he comes home from school, he just locks himself in his room without saying anything to anybody. I was thinking about going upstairs and ask him what was up, but the TV distracted me.

After I went upstairs to my room, after Dib yelled at me, I just kind of thought everything over. Then I decided he'd try to come upstairs after me to try to 'talk' with me. I hate that. I don't _need_ his help. So I escaped through my bedroom window to take a walk. I thought maybe if I sit in the park by myself, I could gather my thoughts without any interruption. But I was wrong.

It was a cool, breezy day. I should have taken my jacket, but I kind of left without thinking. When I got to the park, I could tell it had changed a lot since I last went there, which was obviously a long time ago considering I don't get out much anymore. The grass was a dead, pale yellow. Leaves were scattered everywhere, no one bothered raking them into a pile. Most of the sunshine was covered by white clouds. Not a bad day... Until I found Zim sitting on the park bench.

He was smoking. SMOKING. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him. Just when I thought I'd seen it all, now I saw an alien invader smoking on an earthling cigarette. I wasn't really disgusted since I considered smoking myself a few times, but it was such a strange sight seeing _Zim_ smoking. I honestly thought he'd think smoking was disgusting. But by the looks of that empty cigarette box that was sitting next to him, I'd say he's been sitting there for awhile. I don't know why, but something forced me to go over there. Possibly _yell_ at him.

And that's just what I did. I walked right up to him. He glanced at me for a second, then looked away. He took the cigarette from his mouth and puffed a cloud of smoke. He looked at me. "What's up?" He asked casually. Now believe me, I was ready to punch his face in. But instead I sat down. Whatever forced me to come over here told me to shut up and sit. So I slowly sat next to him on the old, yellow wooden bench. I pulled my legs up to me chest and wrapped my arms around them, staring forward.

Zim never took his eyes off of me. I could tell he was wondering what was going on. But all he did was put his cigarette back into his mouth and just enjoyed the park's quiet environment. He lifted his right lef off the ground and rested it on this left. He leaned back and folded his arms. He kept glancing at me. He obviously wanted to ask his questions. So did I. I sighed.

"What are you doing, Zim?" I finally asked. He still didn't look at me. I felt like I was talking to my dad, he never really gives me an answer. Zim removed the cigarette once more and puffed another cloud of smoke. I looked away. Did he feel superior now that he held a cigarette in his hand?

"What do you mean, 'what am I doing'? You are the one who is unexpectingly sitting next to Zim." His eyelids covered up half of his eyes, making him look like he just woke up from a nap. He finally looked at me.

"What I mean is, why are you smoking? _Idiot..._" I whispered under my breath. Zim looked at me angrily, but the expression suddenly passed. He looked up into space. Seems that some other people have asked the same question.

"I told myself I'd only use one, maybe more if I continued to stress. But it seems these _cigarettes_ have a good effect on me. They make me feel good." Zim stared at the cigarette butt he held in his hand, then tossed it away on the ground. He looked disappointed when he grabbed the box next to him, finding it empty. He tossed it along with the cigarette butt.

"You know that stuff can kill you?" I said. I stared at my feet. "It could have a stronger effect on your sqeedly spooch." Zim chuckled, then his face was serious, his eyes hazy.

"Zim doesn't care anymore." I looked at him. He sounded...like me. I knew he could tell I wanted an explanation. "Zim knows the Irken armada is not coming. Zim knows the Tallest lied to him. Zim knows..." He paused. "...Zim knows he is defective." A hurt expression entered his face. I knew he despised that word. I really didn't feel that bad for him, but I could tell he knew what I was going through. _I_ felt like a defective. I felt like I was hated by my dad.

"I know what you mean." I said, realizing I was thinking out loud. He turned his head toward me, just as surprised at me as I was myself. I had never really related to anyone before, and I never thought I'd ever relate to someone like _Zim._ I could tell he didn't believe I understood.

"LIES. There is no way you could possibly understand what ZIM is-"

"My dad hates me." I interupted. I already knew what he was going to say - _There's no way you could understand what I am going through._ Ugh... Even though Zim's an alien, he's still acts like a typical teenager. Anyway, I could see the confused look on his face. He was obviously curious of why my dad hated me, since I never really talk about him at all.

"I not anything he wanted me to be. I hate science, I'd only be supporting this doomed world if I became a scientist. I want to be a graphic designer, maybe a multimedia developer. My grades have dropped. My dad recieves calls from my teachers because I bisbehave in class. I'm not motivated to learn, and I'm not smart. I'm just not what he wants me to be. To him, I'm defective."

Zim didn't respond. He just gave me this strange look, probably thinking of something to say. Finally, he asked, "Why does Gaz human disbehave in class? Why are you not motivated to gain information?" I shrugged. I didn't really know why. Maybe I was distracted?

"I don't know." I answered. "I guess I think about other stuff."  
"Like what?" He asked.

"I don't know!" I was frustrated. I hate it when people try to 'search' me. Trying to get answers, while trying to give myself answers at the same time. To my surprise, Zim twitched a small grin.

"Gaz human feels alone." He said. I looked at him, surprised. I think that was the first time as we sat there when we actually looked at each other. Zim didn't stop grinning. I was confused. "Think about it. You feel you are defective, and when you come to this human 'park' thing, suddenly you decide to sit next to me for no reason at all. You are lonely."

I growled. I didn't feel loneliness. I didn't feel anything. Why would _I_ feel lonely? Sure I really didn't have any friends, but I didn't care. I hated everyone. I didn't _want_ anyone. "I am not lonely." I protested. "I don't need anyone."

Zim studied my face carefully. I turned away. "That is a lie, human. You _do_ need someone. You think about your female parental unit, and your male parental unit has no interest in you. Am I correct?" I held my legs tighter. _I did not_ _think about my mother._ I thought it over. _...I didn't...I.._

My head was full of thoughts. Zim stared at me, waiting for a response. ".._you might be right."_ I said quietly. I looked up at the sky, realizing it was dark. I could tell Zim was satisfied with my answer. I glared at him.

"You're right that I do think about my mom. But I'm not lonely." I said quickly. Zim shrugged. "You were lucky to have one." He said. I stared at him, realizing he never had a parent. Once again I looked away from him.

"Though lucky for Zim, I am not lonely. Right now I have Dizzy recovering at my house." He said. I raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Recovering form what?" I asked. Zim frowned. I looked at the empty box of cigarettes laying on the ground next to his side of the bench, wishing he had another one, but he looked away.

"Someone beat her the other day," Zim said with an angry expression. "she's now hurt badly. I really don't understand you humans, Gaz. Why do you hurt your own species for no reason?" Gaz thought of her father. She wondered the same thing.

"Another reason I hate people, I guess." I said, not really knowing what else to say. I never really knew Dizzy personally, she mostly hung around Dib and Zim. "Is she okay?" I asked anyway.

"Yes. She should recover fully. She's just... not responsive. She's not talking much." Zim answered. He stood up. "Anyway, I should return to my home. It's not a good idea to leave her alone at this dark hour."  
"Can I come with you?" I asked. I almost slapped myself, realizing I sounded really stupid for asking such a question. I continued. "Dib will probably be waiting for me when I get home, and I'd like to avoid him as much as possible. Plus, I'd like to see Dizzy." Zim shook his head.

"It's probably not a good idea.'' He said. "I worry Dizzy will find it uncomfortable with someone unfamiliar like you being in the house." I quietly nodded in agreement. _Maybe I _am_ lonely..._ I thought. I knew that excuse for following him home was a complete lie... Well, part of it was.

Zim noticed I was deep in thought. "But hey, Gaz human, Zim offers his company at his lunch table." I gave him a strange look. He twitched another grin. "Yep! Right next to me! You must feel honored!" I rolled my eyes, but then grinned.

"Eh.. Sure, Zim." I said. He carefully waved, then disappeared from the park gate. I sighed. I uncurled my lages and lifted myself off of the bench. The stars twinkled in the blackened sky. It was an even more beautiful night than it was daylight.

When I got home, of course Dib was all over me. He kept saying, 'we need to talk', and 'are you okay?', stuff like that. Dib bugs the crud outa me, but sometimes I feel lucky to have someone who actually cares about my feelings.

I was thinking about trying to talk to Dad again, but honestly, I was afraid to. He hadn't come out from the basement all day long, so... Maybe it wasn't a good idea to try to talk to him... Especially if it was _me _trying to talk to him.

Right now I am sitting on my bed, watching those twinkling stars again. I managed to slip away from Dib while he was in the kitchen grabbing a drink. He said after he got a drink he would 'talk' with me, so at that point I decided it was best to get the heck out of there. He hasn't come up yet.

I wish my dad would talk to me.

-

**And there ends another chapter! SEE, it is longer than the last one! I kind of enjoy doing POVs, it helps get inside the characters head. AND GUESS WHUT? Dr. Membrane's POV is coming up in the next chapter! You don't want to miss **_**that**_**, now do you? **

**!DENUT YATS (Read backwards)**


	8. Membrane's journal, a great fall

**I'm honestly excited for this chapter. Dr. Membrane is so mysterious and hurt in this story, so I'm excited to show what's going inside his brilliant mind right now.**

**P.S. - If you were wondering why I call Membrane "Dr.", than "Professor" (which is what he is really called) I just do that out of habit.**

**I don't own Invader Zim. However, Dizzy **_**does **_**belong to me. Hehehe... yup.**

**-**

**- Dr. Membrane's Journal - **

_What is happening to me?_

_What happened to the genious Membrane that once created amazing inventions for the world to enjoy?_

_Why do I feel this way? _

_Why am I sitting here, in the darkness of my basement?_

I look toward the dark, loneliness of my lab... no... it's no longer a lab... it's just a regular basement. I look to the dark loneliness of my _basement_, yet I find nothing to comfort me anymore. My notes...useless. My experiments...expired. My happiness...no where to be found.

My children... my son, Dib... my daughter...Gaz... they are probably wondering why I am here alone in the basement. I don't know how to explain my unhappiness to my children...

Ever since Dib started elementary school, he has been a smart, yet lonely child. All of the children in his school - even now - made fun of him because he seemed crazy, always talking about aliens, ghosts, vampires, all of these unreal, paranormal exaggerations. I thought it was just a phase, but it took him into high school. I still wonder of his sanity.

I noticed my son was becoming more and more depressed. I was worried about this, and I didn't even bother to ask him what was wrong... and when he finally yelled out his feelings the other day... I lost control of myself. The collected, hard as a rock Dr. Membrane broke down. _I couldn't take facing the truth... I was a bad father._

As I sit here at my old writing desk, I look back on all of the years I've called my boy insane, constantly trying to convince to study _real_ science.

When my dear boy said I could never understand what pain he was going through, that's when my mind shut down. _That's when my heart could take it no longer._ I almost tried to shout back at him that I did understand... maybe I understood even more than he did.

Was I right to keep the secret of me losing my job to Dib? I realize it hurt him when I told him that Gaz knew first, but I was only trying to protect him... but I think that's made him even more depressed.

I'm now staring at that bloody razor. The thing that supposedly made my saddened emotions invisable. I finally managed to put it away 4 years ago. All scars have healed. No trace of the awful secret I kept from my family. I would do _anything_ to keep Dib from suffering like I did. I've learned that cutting my skin only supported myself for more depression and anxiety. It seemed like it helped at the time, but I soon learned it only made myself feel worse.

I need to talk to my son.

My dear Gaz... When she first started elementary... no, _kindergarden,_ she was avoidant of everyone. Even Dib. She would always doodle pictures of somethings... disturbing, somehow always involving her brother. I was shocked at the amount of gore and blood in her first doodle of her kindergarden teacher.

Gaz was always close to... her mother. She seemed to be Gaz's best friend. Gaz was barely ever hateful to her mother, though she always seemed to stay the same old Gaz in some way. I was proud of her confident, hard core spirit. It seemed like no one would stop her from having her dreams coming true. I was amazed at her strong will! She was the perfect daughter!

But then... her mother, my wife, Elizabeth died. Gaz's entire world changed after that. Her drawings ceased. Her grades dropped. She was even more hateful to everyone around her than she ever was. She disbehaved in her best classes... and she still is. And when she said she wanted to be a graphic designer and _not_ a scientist, I knew all hope was lost for the membrane children to follow in their father's footsteps. I felt like a failiure.

Then Gaz and I began arguing more and more. She told me multiple times she hated me and this family. Then I began to go along with her arguments, telling her she's wasting her life by wanting to become a graphic designer, saying she has discraced the Membrane family.

_Discraced... wasting her life? What kind of father am I? _

I need to talk to my daughter.

_I need to talk with my children._ I need to tell them how much I _love_ them, appreciate them, and I fully support their dreams. And mostly, I need to tell them the truth. How their father gave in to the agonizing razor blade.

I look to the old picture of Elizabeth and I in the city park when we were much, much younger. Gaz has many of her traits, same body type and hair color. I remember Elizabeth used to badmouth her parents as well. And like Dib, she needed to wear glasses. She was the most wonderful person to be around. She was always so supportive of my experiments, she even assisted me in creating _super toast_, the breakfast that made her children strong.

I loved her so much. Gaz and Dib went through great struggles after she died, and so did I. Dib once began crying a few years back when I told him to prepare a dinner for _three._ It was the night after Elizabeth died. I could tell Gaz was greatly upset, because when Dib started crying, she refused her dinner and excused herself to her room.

I've never tred to discuss their mother with them, because I wanted my children to think they had a strong dad. I didn't want them to know that I was actually lonely and sad.

It's late. I've been down here all day, So I think I'll go out for a walk while the children are sleeping. Maybe some fresh air will help me gather my thoughts. It's better than staying in this dark, stuffy basement.

I vow to talk with my children.

Signed,

_Ex- Proffesor Membrane_

Dr. Membrane bookmarked his journal with one of his wife's hair ribbons and put it in one of the desk's drawers. He stood up and clicked the now flickering blue lamp off. He quietly snuck up the basement stairs, avoiding any creaks in the floorboards. He quickly and quietly opened the door to his bedroom and grabbed a clean lab coat. He slipped on his favorite pair of black boots and black lab gloves. Though he didn't need these clothes any more, he still enjoyed dressing the way he did.

He touched the doornob to the outside, but then stopped. He quickly turned around, finding Gaz sound asleep on the living room couch. Dr. Membrane went closer to her, lifted the notebook Gaz was holding in her two hands as she slept. She had sketched a picture of her father in red ink.

Quietly, Dr. Membrane ripped the picture from Gaz's notebook and folded it into his coat pocket. He stroked his daughter's hair, careful not to wake her up, and walked out the door. The sudden change in temperature caused him to shiver and roll down his lab coat's sleeves. He put his hands in his pocket and began walking down the sidewalk, his left hand holding the picture Gaz had sketched.

Leaves scattered along the sidewalk, leaving the trees completely naked. A cold wind suddenly sped by, causing Membrane to shiver. He pulled his coat tighter to his body.

Unknowingly, he drew closer to a tall, thin green house. The house was very... Odd looking. With it's plastic puffer fish popping out from behind the wooden fence, creepy lawn gnomes, and an odd sign nailed to a wooden opst coming up from behind the fence that read, "I LOVE EARTH".

And there, sitting on the front step, sat a green skinned teenage girl, with a blanket over her shoulder, staring at the brightened stars. She shivered slightly. When she spotted Membrane, she froze in fear of being beaten again. She stared at him with great caution.

Membrane reconized here - she was... Dizzy? - He'd seen her hanging around Dib before. He approached her slowly. Dizzy didn't take her eyes off of him. When Membrane was about a meter away, she quickly stood, reaching her hand to the doornob.

"Do not be afraid," Dr. Membrane said, more quiet than usual. "I am Dr. Membrane, Dib's father."

Dizzy's stiffened body slightly became more relaxed, but she still looked to him cautiously. "D-dr. Membrane?" She managed to get out. She let go of the doornob. He came closer.

"You're one of Dib's friends, aren't you?" He asked. Dizzy nodded. "Why are you out here alone? It's freezing.."

"I haven't been outside in awhile." Dizzy replied. She sat back down on the front step, Membrane joined her. "Neither have I." He commented.

For awhile, neither of them said anything to each other. Membrane could see a great amount of sadness and fear in Dizzy's Deep blue eyes. Her hair looked matted - like it hadn't been washed in awhile. She shivered once more.

Membrane quickly looked away. He could see why Dib was around her so much - she was a very pretty girl, despite the fact that she had neither a nose nor ears. Dizzy looked at him.

"Why are _you_ out here?" She asked in a shaky voice. Membrane looked back at her. What was he to say? He was upset that his wife died, his kids hate him and he's been keeping a rotting secret from them for over 4 years?  
_"Actually,"_ He replied, an invisable light bulb appearing over his head, "I would like to ask a favor of you." Dizzy gave him another cautious look. He explained that Dib seemed depressed, and that he knew that she was a good friend of his. She nodded. He also explaned that he wants to talk with him, but knew that Dib would refuse to speak with him.

"I need you to send him a message," Membrane said, speaking more confidently. "Tell him in any way you can to meet _a friend_ in the park tomorrow at seven thirty after school. Do you think you could do that?"

Dizzy nodded slowly in agreement. Membrane grinned under his coat's long colar. "...But I'd like something in return." Dizzy added. Membrane's grin vanished, listening intently. Dizzy's eyes became slightly wet, but she wiped them away with her blanket. "Please... please find a way.." She sniffed. "..please find a way to find my friend to stop smoking!" Membrane said nothing. Did she mean Zim? He knew she did. He nodded in agreement. _Anything,_ he thought, _Anything for my children to speak to me again._

Dizzy twitched a very small, yet sad smile. _"Thank you..."_ She whispered. She held her arms tightly, still shivering from the cold. She stared in front of her, thinking about Zim, and how worried she was for him. He was down in his lab all day, smoking on those cigarettes. He had ignored her when she suggested him to open a window.

"Alright," Membrane said, lifting Dizzy up by her arm. "You need to get inside. I'm no doctor, so I can't help you if you catch a cold. Don't worry, I'll help your friend, if you tell Dib what I've told you." Dizzy nodded. Unexpectingly, she gave Membrane a small embrace before she disappeared inside the house. Dizzy did this to everyone out of gratitude, but Membrane was not used to it. He sighed and began walked in the direction of his home.

Membrane managed to sneak back into his house unnoticed. Gaz was still fast asleep on the couch, only she unknowingly dropped her notebook as she drifted off into her dreams. Membrane quietly picked it up and placed it on the desk next to the couch. He then slipped into his bedroom and slept for the rest of the night.

-

The next morning, Dib groaned as his digital alarm clock noised loudly at 5 a.m. He curled his fist and hit the clock as hard as he could, causing him to sit up on his bed, holding his hand in pain from the hit. He let it go after 3 minutes of cursing his hand and began to dress for school. He quickly slipped on his black, frown faced T-shirt, along with a regular pair of black pants, buckled with a black studded belt. He buckled on his black combat boots, decorated with some old chains Dib had found in his basement. Once he slipped on his red trench coat and his glasses, he was set.

Dib quietly walked downstairs, his black backpack hanging over his shoulder. He wondered if the teachers, or anyone noticed that he skipped school for the last few days. The truth was, he was afraid of running into that kid again, the one who beat him. He probably needed a whole lot of stitches for what Dib had done to him.

He was about to open the door to the outside, when he noticed Gaz was still sleeping on the couch. She must have been watching television late last night and fell asleep in front of it. He sighed. Dib decided not to wake her up, considering he yelled at her last night. And hey, maybe dad would crawl out of his little hole and talk with her. So he let Gaz sleep on the couch.

When he stepped outside, he was surprised to see Dizzy by the fence, waiting for him. He quickly ran to her. "Hey, you feeling better?" He asked, realizing he never visited her.

"Uhm... yes, I'm fine.." Dizzy replied. She leaned was careful not to lean against their family's electric fence. She put her arms behind her back. "Hey Dib, ant to meet me in the park after school today? Around seven?" She asked.

Dib gave her a look. "Kind of late.." He said, "..but sure." He _had_ to agree, maybe she wanted to talk about what happened to her. Maybe she wanted to catch up on things.

"Great!" She said, smiling. Dib hadn't seen her smile in a long time, ever since she was beaten, he hardly ever saw anyone smile anymore. _He_ barely smiled anymore. Dib smiled right back at her, and walked with her down the darkened sidewalk.

"So... uh... Zim, he's uh..." Dib tried to find the right words. Dizzy looked at him. "I know." She said, her smile disappeared. "He came home the other day and went straight to his lab, and never came back up."

"Sounds like my dad." Dib chuckled. Dizzy remembered the conversation she and Membrane had last night.

"..How is you dad?" She asked. Before Dib could answer, he suddenly tripped over his large combat boots. He tumbled face first on the ground, dropping everything he held. Dizzy covered her mouth, hiding a small smile. She bent down and helped Dib up from the ground.

"Are you okay?" She asked worriedly.

"U-uh, yeah... yeah I'm okay.." Dib's face burned. He always managed to look completely idiotic in front of anyone he was with. He and Dizzy bent down to pick up the books that had fallen form his bookbag. Suddenly, Dizzy let out a yalp. She lifted her hand, blood smeared on her palm. Dib stared in shock at the razor blade that had fallen from his pocket.

"W-what is this..?" Dizzy blurted out nervously, picking up the bloody razor she had accidentally laid her hand on. Dib bit his lip. Dizzy looked at him. "Where... where did this come from?" She asked. She was barely able to spot the blade in her hand because of the darkness. Only a tiny bit of sunlight peered over the tall buildings. Dib had no idea what to say.

"I-I don't know where that came from. Probably just some trash." He said a quick lie. "Let's hurry to Skool so you can clean up that cut." Dizzy looked at him suspiciously, but agreed. They continued their walk toward school, with Dib carefully slipping the razor blade he quickly picked up before they left.

_First period, Attended._

_Second period, skipped. _

_Third period, skipped. _

_Fourth period, skipped._

Dib managed to skip every class after first period. His mind couldn't concentrate on school work, only on how he had fallen, how the razor had fallen from his pocket. After that little incident, he knew his secret was no longer safe.

Storm clouds choked the sky, the sun was covered. All shadows faded. Dib sat inside the blue bathroom stall, smiling maniacally at his deep, fresh cuts into his left arm. At these moments, he didn't care about anything anymore. He didn't care that he yelled at his sister, he didn't care that his father was acting like a troll while living in his basement all of the time, he didn't care that the floor tiles were now stained with his own blood.

He cut himself more now than he did ever, continuously putting the razor to skin without another thought. He chuckled. He loved this feeling... he loved this state of mind... he loved the feeling of being careless.

Dib gave a big sigh. He stood from the toilet, quietly cracked open the stall door, checking if anyone was in the bathroom with him. No one was there. He opened the door fully, walked to a sink and held his bloody arm over it. He prepared himself for the sting from the hand soap, but suddenly stopped right before he squirted the soap onto his hand. Dib looked into the mirror in front of him and gasped. His childhood was staring him right in the eye.

It was him, back when he was young. He had on his old black trench coat, his strange, smiley face t-shirt, black pants and combat boots. His eyes reflected his inner anger and sadness. Dib backed away in fear.

_"What do you think you are doing?"_ His reflection asked. Dib stared at his talking reflection, dumbstruck. _"Put that disgusting thing away!"_ The reflection pointed at the razor blade Dib held in his bloody hand.

"W-what? You mean the razor?" Dib asked shakily, not completely sure how to reply to his own reflection. _Am I delirious?_

_"No, of course not... Yes the razor, you idiot!"_ The reflection hissed, _"Can't you see that thing is destroying you? It hasn't been that long, and you're already going crazy over it. It's made you depressed, angry and sad. You are hurting those who are living with you - Gaz, Dad, especially Dizzy. Zim even has his concerns."_

"Shut up!" Dib yelled, not wanting to hear any of this, "Cutting makes me feel better! You're just my reflection, you wouldn't understand.."

_"...what you're going through?" _The reflection crossed his arms. _"Who do you think you're talking to? Did you forget that I'm you?"_ Dib clenched his teeth. He had enough of this nonsense. He held the razor tightly in his hand and ran out of the bathroom. He didn't stop running down the hallway, past the lockers, through the crowding people trying to squeeze in to their next class. No one seemed to notice him, but one.

Dib didn't stop running through the Skool until he made it off of the front steps. Rain was already falling. A small puddle was formed in front of him, and there was his reflection. Only it was no longer him when he was young, it was Dib as he was now... Dib was disturbed. Black circled his eyes, he looked like he hadn't slept or eaten for days, and the cuts on his arms.. he was revolted. But why did he feel this way now? Why didn't he feel so disgusted with himself before?

A new image appeared in the puddle. Dib was shocked to see his mother's reflection. A image of anger, sadness and depression. Dib stared, a clump of guilt in the pit of his stomach. He held his left hand in front of himself and looked at it's cuts. They weren't even cuts anymore, they were deep, black gashes. He quivered at the sight of his arm, now completely destroyed by the cuts and gashes. He looked at his palm. There it was. The first accidental cut he recieved from a broken piece of glass. It was healing normally, but it was still very noticable. Dib spat at it. _That was it.._ he whispered under the pattering sound of raindrops hitting the concrete. _That was the first time.. that was the first time all of this started. The lies, the yelling, the guilt, the anxiety... the pain. _

Dib faced the sky, staring at the thick raindrops falling down to earth. He screamed. _It was such a beautiful feeling... but then it turned into an ugly monster. _He was sick of his own lies. He was sick of being angry all the time for no reason. He was sick of hating his father. He was sick of keeping this secret. He was sick of being all alone during this.

Dib looked down at his waist to see two thin, black gloves wrap themselves around him. He heard a child's wimper.

Dizzy dug her cheek into Dib's neck, hugging him gently. It made sense now. _This is why Dib is acting so strange... this is why Zim was so angry at him. _

Dib stared down at the puddle in front of him once more. There he saw the same reflection he saw back in the restroom. His childhood reflection. It gave him a sign of relief. Dib closed his eyes and watched as all of the sadness, depression and anxiety slowly slipped away.

-

**Whew! It took me a fair while to write this chapter. **

**Oh yes, before i go any further, I'd like to say - HAPPEH HALLOWEEN! **_**Anyway...**_

**Trust me, I hate putting Membrane and Dib through all of this torment just as much as you do, but it's what makes a hurtful and depressing story... well.. hurtful and depressing.**

**Stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	9. Understanding

**Welcome, delightful little flesh monkeys. I hope you enjoy this next disturbing chapter. Here you will find Membrane and Dib having their little 'talk', but first, some Dib and Dizzy-ness!**

**Unfortunately, Zim and I were not meant to be. But I own Dizzy. She's from MY HEAD.**

-

The raining ceased. The dark clouds released their tight grip on the faded blue sky. Dib stared at this image through his bedroom window. It was over. He told Dizzy everything. Dizzy was pleased that Dib was finally opening up to her, even though she cried through the entire conversation. Dizzy promised not to tell anyone, not even Zim. But Dib knew he'd have to tell Zim sooner or later... or else Zim would have to force the answers out of him.

Dizzy made a commitment to helping Dib through everything. The temptation, the depressing thoughts, everything... but Dib had to give her the razor, the glass, anythiing he could use to hurt himself. Dib didn't mind any of this at all. He knew he'd have his struggles with it, but he was just glad that he finally had someone who was going to support him.

_No more anxiety,_ he thought. _I can't feel it anymore. _Dib looked down from his window, spotting Dizzy approaching his house. It was 6:57. He smiled. He enjoyed spending this time with Dizzy. He slipped on his dried combat boots and made his way downstairs.

Before turning to the door, Dib noticed Gaz sitting on the couch, eyes on the TV. He went to her. Gaz him a single glance, then looked back at the TV, uninterested.

"Hey, Gaz... uhm... about the other day.. I'm sorry I yelled at you. And, I'm sorry about what's going on with Dad. You were right, it _is_ my fault. I yelled at him because he told you he lost his job and didn't tell me. I thought he didn'y understand my unhappiness, but I found out that he may be more unhappy than me." Dib hesitantly rolled up his sleeves, revealing the black gashes running along his arm. Gaz stared at them, disturbed. "I'm sorry I kept this secret from you and Dad... but please don't tell him about this. I want to tell him myself, whenever he's willing to talk to me. Is he still in the basement?"

Gaz had to force herself to tear her eyes away from Dib's arms. She looked at him. "Yeah... yeah I guess so." She immediately fixed her eyes back on Dib's arms. _This,_ took her by complete surprise. She never thought Dib would ever do something like this.. it wasn't like him.

Dib rolled his sleeves back down, covering up the stinging cuts. He sat next to Gaz, staring carefully at her. His expression was serious, but gentle. _"I love you, Gaz."_ He whispered. _"I'm sorry I made your life so misrable."_

Before Gaz could even think of a response, Dib stood up, walked to the door, and left the house. Gaz could here Dib and Dizzy's faint greetings, then nothing. She picked up the remote control and turned the television off. She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, staring at the blank TV screen.

Dib and Dizzy made their way toward the park without a word. Dizzy was deep in thought the entire time and was unable to speak. Dib didn't speak because, well, he had nothing to say... that and he was very nervous with Dizzy clinging onto his right arm.

Finally, they made it to the park. The area was empty of people. Dizzy thought it was peaceful. Dib, however, thought it had an eerie touch. Dizzy moved further into the park, tugging Dib along with her. The colorful, crisp leaves blanketed the ground. Dizzy was amused at the crunching sound they made when she stepped on them. Dib chuckled as Dizzy ran through the field, throwing and stepping on the leaves. He soon joined her, dancing and throwing the leaves.

As Dib and Dizzy went about with their fun, Dizzy noticed a mysterious figure coming through the park entrance. The wore a long black coat, gloves, and a hat that covered up his eyes. He held a newspaper. The man went over to a nearby bench and began reading the newspaper. Dib noticed Dizzy had stopped playing.

"What's wrong?" Dib asked, approaching Dizzy. She quickly looked away from the man, looking back at Dib. She smiled.

"Nothing!" Dizzy said. She grabbed Dib's hand and began running toward an old tree. They both sat underneath it, laughing and panting. Dizy looked back at the man on the bench, who gave her a quick glance, then continued reading his newspaper. Dizzy looked back at Dib, who noticed her mind was someplace else. "You sure you're okay?" He asked. Dizzy gave him a delightful grin. "Sure am!" She replied.

She gave a quick glance back at the man, then looked away. "Hey Dib," she said, "I'm thirsty. I'm going to go buy a beverage at that... beverage device thing, over there." She pointed to a soda machine through the park gate on the other side of the street.

"Oh, okay, sure." Dib agreed.

"I'll meet you back at... that bench, over there." Dizzy pointed to the bench where the mysterious man sat, casually reading his newspaper. "Uh, okay," Dib agreed. But when he looked back at Dizzy, she was already running toward the soda machine, waving back at him. He shrugged.

Dib cautiously sat next to the strange man reading the newspaper. He gave his quick glances, anxiously waiting for Dizzy to return. While the man wasn't paying attention, Dib caught the newspaper's headline, '_Prof. Membrane makes burnt toast'_. He looked away. How _was_ he going to tell his father about how he has been cutting himself? Suddenly, the man next to him chuckled.

_"Hehehehe... Boy, Membrane sure has done it this time." _He said, Dib looked at him, kind of offended that the man was unknowingly mocking his father. _"What a fool. Heh... I bet the old failiure doesn't even have time for his children anymore. I've never seen his kids with him on the television... heh, I wonder if he even knows he has kids?"_

"He doesn't have time for his kids because he's a hard working father!" Dib blurted out. The man looked at him, rather surprised at his statement. He folded the newspaper and laid it on his lap.

_"Maybe so, but a father must always have time for his children. Even if he... say... took them to Bloaty's Pizza Hog once a year, that's still not nearly enough. His kids must feel very excluded from his life." _The man coughed nervously. _"Now, what if one of his kids was depressed over something, and he was never around to notice it?"_

Dib stood up from the bench angrily. "Well maybe he has some problems of his own! Maybe _he's_ the one who's really depressed! Maybe... maybe his kids didn't see it before. Maybe..." Dib paused, taking a careful look at the man. He could see the man's eyes through his sunglasses. They were full of worry and guilt. "...maybe his kids were too caught up in their own emotion that they couldn't see their father was the one that was hurting the most." Dib's eyes became glossy. His head dropped, trying to hide his emotion. The man stood, leaving his newspaper on the bench. He hugged Dib tightly, who was now crying. _"I am so sorry, dad."_ Dib shakily, hugging his father back. _"I am so sorry I yelled at you. I'm sorry I said you didn't understand when you really did.."_

"It's alright, son." Membrane whispered replied. "It's alright. Come and sit, I need to tell you something." Dib obeyed, wiping the tears away from his eyes. Membrane took off his black hat, revealing his half bald head and sun glasses. He reached into the coat pocket and took out a little black box. He opened it, revealing a small, rusted razor blade. Dib's heart sank.

"When your mother died, I had a serious problem." Membrane took the razor out of the box, showing it to Dib. "I began to self-injure myself for a long time. It felt good at the time," He paused, "But then one day, when I was about to cut myself again, I noticed that there was no space left on my arms. That's when I realized that the issue was out of my control. I couldn't stop. I knew I couldn't keep this up - I had a family, what would they think if they found out? So, every day after work, I would see a psychiatrist who'd help me through the problem. When you kids asked me why I was home late, I lied and told you I was held back at work."

Dib stared at the razor, not knowing how to respond. He was shocked at the fact that his father, _Proffessor Membrane_, had the same problem as he did now.

Membrane sighed. "I'm here to apologize to you, son. I'm sorry I never payed attention to you, I'm sorry I never supported your dreams, I'm sorry for all of the lies I told you..." He paused again, "...I'm sorry I called you insane."

Dib looked at his father, his eyes again glossy. Without another thought, he hugged his father tightly as a sign of forgivness. Membrane hugged him back, happily. He was glad the connection between him and his son was no longer broken. Dib was glad that his father never really hated him, he was just going through things. Dib broke the hug and looked at his father. "Dad... were you down in your lab all this time... because I yelled at you?"

Membrane smiled, then sighed. "Not exactly, son. I had a lot to think about." He looked deeply in his son's eyes, giving him the message. A worried expression krept onto Dib's face. "Dad... what day is it?"   
He sighed. Membrane bent over, dug a small hole in the dirt, and buried the razor blade in it. He stood back up. "...It's our anniversary, son. Elizabeth and I were married today."

Dib gripped his hand on his left arm. The arm he had inflicted all of his pain and anger onto. Slowly, he rolled up the sleeve, revealing the gashes. Membrane nearly fell over at the horrid sight of his son's arm, almost completely slashed with cuts. His breath was lost. An unexpected, yet nervous smiled grew across Dib's face. "Glad you understand, Dad."

-

**Sorry for making the chapter so short, butI thought it would be a good place to stop. Don't worry, They're conversation will continue - and end - in the next chapter.**

**Ahmahgahd! I loved writing the chapter - such loveliness between father and son. Ah, yes, the emotion! cough**

**I need to make more **_**exciting**_** story... whenever... ;**

**So... uh... yea, stay tuned.::::**


	10. Self Destruct

**Aey, welcome to chapter 10, where... stuff... happens! Sorry for taking awhile to update again, but we all know that school gets in the way of everything. nuff said.**

**Dizzy belongs to me. Invader Zim is Jhonen's prisoner.**

**-**

Dib let out _everything._ Finally, after talking with his father, the anxiety finally vanished._Completely._ He felt awful for thinking his father hated him, but he felt good to know that he never did.

When Dib realized that today was his parent's anniversary, he had mixed feelings. He didn't know what to think. What to say. Membrane understood this. He knew Dib missed his mother. He knew he's been thinking about her. They all have. As they both talked, Membrane could feel her presence with them. Saying, _"I love you, therefore I stay with you."_

Dib suddenly remembered. Gaz.

"Dad... y-you need to talk to Gaz." He said. Membrane looked at his sincerely. "Really. It's important-"

"I know I do, son." Membrane cut in. "I know Gaz and I fight. I know that I have not been treating her well. I haven't been treating any of you well. I'm sorry. I'll talk with her when we get home."

Dib smiled. "You know, Dad... I meant everything I said. You _are_hard working. Gaz and I understand why you wouldn't have time for us. You're just trying to make us happy." His smile grew. _"And we are._ We just don't appreciate it enough."

Membrane looked at his son's arm. He shuddered. Dib had it worse than he did. "How can you be happy?" He asked, not taking his eyes off of Dib's arm._"Look at you."_

"I didn't know I was happy." Dib replied. "Like I said, we didn't appreciate it enough. We couldn't see the struggles you are going through."

Membrane smiled under his flared collar. "The only struggles I was going through was that I let something in the past get to me. I was worried about everything, especially my kids."

Dib happily embraced his father, glad that they were no longer in war with each other. Suddenly, a wet eyed figured popped out of the bushes behind them, practically sobbing at them.

Dizzy sniffed. "I-I am so h-happy!" She wiped away a tear. "I'm so glad you two love each other again!" She happily embraced both Membrane and Dib. Membrane chuckled, while Dib just smiled nervously. Dizzy pulled herself back together and tore herself away from the two.

"Son," Membrane put his hand on Dib's knee. "You've got yourself a nice girlfriend."

Dib glared furiously at his smiling father, his face was hot. "D-Dad, stop it!" Dizzy looked at Membrane with a confused expression. "A what?" she asked. Membrane raised an eyebrow.

"N-nothing." Dib quickly cut in before his father could respond. "Dizzy, thank you for setting this up for us." Dizzy smiled with small confusion.

"How'd ya know I set it up?" She asked. Her face was somewhat brighter than usual. Dib just smiled, followed by Membrane. Suddenly, Dizzy's eyes grew wide. "Oh, Dr. Membrane, you didn't forget, did you.."

"No Dizzy, I did not forget. I'll talk to him on my way home." Membrane suddenly became serious. Dib looked at them both, wondering what was going on. "Talk to who?" He asked.

"Zim." Dizzy answered sadly. "See... Dr. Membrane _did_ ask for me to set this up for you two, but I wanted something in return... so... I asked him to talk to Zim about..." she paused, her eyes became glossy. "...about his smoking problem..." Dib looked at his father, somewhat surprised. When did this happen, he wondered.

"It's true." Membrane confirmed. "Uhm... see, son... I was out last night while you kids were sleeping. I needed some fresh air from staying in the basement for so long.." he turned his head, somewhat embarrassed of his statement. "and while I was walking, I saw Dizzy sitting on your green little friend's front step. So I went to talk to her, to ask her why she was out so late at night. Then, we made this deal."

Dib felt strange when Membrane told him he escaped the house at night, but understood. He nodded. Dib had completely forgotten about Zim for awhile... his worry returned. But his anxiety stayed away. He took a deep breath._Zim... man, he better not hurt my father..._ He looked at Membrane. "Be careful when you talk to Zim." He said. "He's a little... unstable."

Membrane nodded. They both stood from the yellow bench. Membrane instructed Dib to take Dizzy back to _her_ home, and he'd meet him later. Dib agreed. He lead Dizzy to the park gate, giving his father one last look. Dizzy looked as well, smiling. She tried her best to keep hope for Zim. They left.

Dib look at the sky while walking down the sidewalk, Dizzy at his side. The sky was completely black, with white stars dotting around it. He let Dizzy lead him to her home, curious to what her home actually looked like. As they passed Zim's big, green 'home', Dib couldn't help but stare at the lit window, a thin shadow on the inside. He surely was disappointed in Zim, but he couldn't be too angry at him... considering Zim wasn't the only one with problems.

Dizzy turned to the side of the building right next to Zim's. The house was big and red. Dib was about to ask if this was her house, (which was unlikely, considering it was occupied for many years) but then saw that she wasn't heading for the door, she was walking around it. He followed. Once the reached a small manhole on the side of the house, she stopped. she lifted the manhole and began climbing down a ladder built inside. Once she was half way down the manhole, she suddenly popped back up. "Are you coming?" she asked. Dib stared at her curiously. He shrugged. After Dizzy proceeded into the manhole, Dib followed. Once they reached the bottom, Dib turned around, staring into a large, long metal hallway, leading to a plain wood door. Dizzy skipped down the hallway, like everything was regular. Dib once again followed.

Inside the wood door, there was another silvery, metal hallway. But this time there was a fork in it. At the end of the hallway, there were two other ways to go - left or right. Dizzy continued to skip, turning to the right hallway. Dib proceeded, staring. Once they reached the and of the right hallway, Dib looked back down the left hallway, finding a large, metal door at the end of it. He turned away. He didn't want to know.

Dizzy opened the next wooden door, but this time, inside there was a silver desk with a strange looking computer sitting on it, a white bed, and a closet. Nothing else. Dizzy turned to him. "Uhm... sorry for taking you all this way... I guess I just wanted you to see what my home looks like." She smiled. Dib cracked a small smile. "Your father is really nice." She commented, staring away.

"Yeah. I'm surprised he talked to you, though." Dib replied. Dizzy looked at him "I guess it's not really like him to talk to some random person like that.." Dib stopped, realizing he was making small talk. Dizzy smiled softly.

"Thanks for taking me home." She commented. Dib smiled. "You're welcome.

Dib turned away, taking one step through the odd looking hallway. He heard a door close. He stopped. Suddenly, Dib turned back, knocking eagerly at the wooden door. Dizzy answered.

"What's wrong?" She asked, "Is there something you-" Without another thought, Dib grabbed Dizzy's head and gently pressed his lips against her's. After a few moments, he let go. Dizzy stared deeply into Dib's eyes, wondering what in the world had just occurred.

_"Thank you."_ Dib whispered. A touch of worry was within himself, wondering if he'd done something wrong. _"For setting me and my father together. If you hadn't... I'm not sure what would be happening now.."_

Dizzy stared at him, still unsure of the event. Finally, she kissed his forehead. "_You're welcome._" she whispered back. Dib smiled, slowly backing up in the hallway, studying Dizzy's face as she closed the door. He sighed. Her face had an expression of confusion.

_She doesn't know what love is._

-

Gir watched carefully as his master lit - something - and placed it into his mouth. He has been watching his master do this for half an hour. He didn't know exactly _what_ Zim was doing. Zim sat comfortably on his old, green couch, releasing clouds of smoke from his mouth. Gir watching, analyzing the situation. Finally, he asked, "Master? What are you doing?"

Zim looked to Gir, who was standing near the wall next to the kitchen. Once Gir saw a full view of Zim's face, he was frightened. His expression was... something he hadn't seen before.

Stone.

No expression whatsoever. As if his master was dead, yet looking right at him. His face was pale and thin, he hadn't eaten in about a week. The only thing he put to his mouth was a cigarette. Black circled his eyes. No sleep. The house was filled with the smell of smoke. No fresh air. All he had been doing for days was sitting on that couch and taking a smoke.

Suddenly, Zim began wheezing violently. Something was terribly wrong.  
Zim dropped the lighter and the cigarette on the floor. He placed his hands near his chest, begging for oxygen. His pak was somehow losing power, cutting off the oxygen that it was sending through Zim's body. He collapsed on to the floor. Coughing, wheezing, but still no air could get through.

Gir froze in place, scared out of his mind. "M-master! What is wrong?" Zim was dying right in front of him. Gir rushed over to him, trying to find some way to help him. Zim swatted the little gray robot away once he tried to touch the breathless alien.

_"M..my squeedly spooch!..."_ He wheezed out before falling unconscious. Gir pounded his hallow skull, trying to get his tiny brain to think fast. Then, he suddenly ran out of the house, shouting for help. He knew he wasn't allowed to go outside without his dog suite, but he could barely think at the moment. A tall man walking toward Zim's house on the sidewalk noticed the little robot. Membrane. He rushed over to the little robot.

"What in the world..." He whispered, staring at the panicked robot. "What in the world are you?" Gir stared back up at the confused scientist, still desperate for help. Without warning, the little robot grabbed Membrane by his lab coat and dragged him into the house, screaming maniacally the entire time.

Once inside, Membrane immediately noticed the tall, green boy on the floor, his head turned in the opposit direction of the door. Membrane quickly grabbed him, but suddenly pulled away in complete shock once Zim's face was visible. He wasn't wearing his disguise.

"W-what in the world is going on?!" He shouted, completely shocked at Zim's appearance. "He's an actual.." Gir quickly stopped him.

"Master! He's dying! Save him, PLEASE!" Gir cried, having a panic attack. Membrane thought fast, he may have been a scientist - or _was_ - but he was no doctor. He remembered some medical shows he once watched while flipping through channels on the television. He needed to check his pulse. He kneeled down and grabbed Zim's wrist, searching for the pulse. Nothing. Membrane put his head to Zim's chest. Nothing.

"Um... I can't find his pulse, and his heart is not beating." He stuttered. Gir stared at him, wondering. "Master don't have a heart!" He replied. Membrane was still shaken by the situation.

Then, Membrane heard a faint beeping sound. It was coming from Zim's 'backpack'. He flipped the unconscious alien on his stomach and noticed the object on Zim's back was beeping and flashing faintly. He looked back up at Gir. "Uh, what is that?" He asked. Gir's eyes suddenly flashed into a red light. He stared at the helpless alien angrily.

"What have you done?!" Gir asked furiously. The confused scientist stared back at the robot, slightly fearing it's statement. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!?" Gir screeched, causing Membrane to fall backwards. Gir grabbed his head, as if having a headache.

"I-I didn't do anything!" Membrane stated nervously. "You led me into this place, you wanted me to help this... whatever he is!" Gir stared back at Zim, his eyes flashing from red to gray. He screamed. Membrane quickly decided it was best to run without the alien, but then remembered the deal he had with Dizzy. He quickly lifted Zim off of the ground and ran for the door. Behind him, Gir was overloading, screaming.

Membrane swiftly jumped from the doorway, right before the little, disturbed robot used self - destruct. He rolled on to the road with Zim in his arms. His eyes flashed open, only to see the inside of Zim's home was almost completely destroyed from the robot's explosion. Gir was not there.

Agitated at was just occurred, Membrane lifted himself and Zim from the ground, not knowing what to do. Then he decided, even though he was no longer an official scientist, he still had most of his equipment in his la- er, basement. Membrane confirmed the thought and quickly ran back to his house, hoping it was not too late to save Dizzy's friend.

-

**END OF CHAPTER  
Hope you guys enjoyed it:) Sorry for taking forever to update again, but again, school gets in the way of everything.**

**For some reason, this may be my most favorite chapter in this story. Why? Not sure. But no, it's not because Zim is dying! I may be cruel to the characters, but I don't enjoy Zim's agony.**

**Stay tuned... again!**


	11. Never eat cigarettes

**And...**

**Now...**

**It;s...**

**Time...**

**For...**

**Chapter...**

**11!**

**I don't know if I've mentioned this in another story, but I think I did, that 11 is my favorite number. It eh... Kind of 'pops up' everywhere now a days..**

**Alright, in this chapter, you'll see stuff.**

**Zim ain't mine...sniff**

**And yet I am stuck with Dizzy... not a total loss.**

**-**

Membrane slammed his fist on the door to his house as fast as he could. Zim was still alive, barely. He could still hear a faint breath huff from his mouth. Membrane stared carefully at Zim. _Dib had been right... all along..?_ He hit the door another few times until Dib had finally answered.

Dib, now dressed in an old gray shirt and rocket ship pajama pants, gasped at the sight of Zim's unconscious body. He noticed his father was bruised and scraped. Before his mouth could release any words, Membrane sped past him, running downstairs to his basement. Dib followed.

Carefully, Membrane laid Zim's body on to his desk, knocking over the lamp and photograph on to the floor. Dib and Membrane both stared at the body for a few moments, then Membrane reached into one of his cabinets, taking out many strange looking tools. Dib noticed he seemed... excited?  
"What happened to Zim?" He finally asked. Membrane looked at him.

"I-I was walking to his house, then suddenly this strange little robot appeared in front of you'r freaky little friend's house, son! He took me inside and I found... _this_, lying on the floor, almost dead. Suddenly the robot went crazy and exploded. I made it out just in time." Membrane stared at Dib, giving quick glances at Zim.

"Dad... why are you doing that?" Dib asked, giving his father a strange look.

"...Do what?" Membrane asked.

"Calling Zim _freaky_ and _this thing_?" He asked. Membrane went over to his son, embraced him, and looked at him straight in the eye. "Because you were right, son!" Replied Membrane. "This thing is an actual alien! Just look at him... it's incredible!"

Dib took a look at Zim. The person he had called _friend_, was now lying on his father's science desk, slowly dying from smoking too many cigarettes. Membrane smiled. "I'm sorry I never believed you, son." he said. "Now... let's get to work!"

Dib gave his father a suspicious eye, but agreed. The went over to Zim's body. "Zim doesn't have any lungs." Dib said. "All his oxygen is provided by his pak. He probably smoked so many cigarettes, the smoke and dirt probably damaged the pak or something.." Slowly, Dib flipped Zim on his stomach. Membrane turned on the lightbulb above them. Dib snapped on a pair of rubber gloves. "I think if we just clean it out, he should be find. By the looks of it... Zim's been smoking a heck of a lot."  
Membrane shakily opened the pak's top. In it were many irken devices, far too advanced to be human. One thing that really caught his eye was a small device that was still working; a screen of some sort, blinking red. "It seems to be the pak's power supply..." he guessed.

Dib nodded. "Don't disconnect anything attatched to it," he said, "if you do, that'll probably be the end of it." Dib flinched when he heard a loud _slam_ behind him. He quickly spun around, realizing it was Gaz "opening" the basement door. Membrane merely looked up from a device he was _gazing_ at. He could hear Gaz gasp.

"What are you doing to Zim!?" She yelled, acting unusually protective. Dib prepared himself for battle, taking one step back.

"The idiot had too many cigarettes," Dib replied, trying to act calm. "so me and Dad are trying to fix him."  
Gaz looked up, rather surprised. She had not noticed her father was in the room. Both Membrane and Gaz stared at each other awkwardly. Gaz returned her attention to her older brother. "You better not kill him, Dib! Or else..." She stated, angrily shaking her left fist. She found herself drawing closer to Dib.

_"...seriously."_ She whispered. _"Don't hurt him."_ Dib snapped his eyes open, realizing they were closed out of fear. He stared at her as she walked to a corner near the door, carefully watching the operation. Dib turned back to his father, whom was still looking at Gaz. His expression was hurt. Membrane tore himself away from his stare, returning his attention back to Zim.

Membrane stared at the magnificent insides of the pak, unsure of where to start. He grabbed a small pair of clippers, wondering which tube to clip. Dib stared eagerly at his father's shaking hand, wondering what was wrong. Suddenly, Membrane completely dropped the clippers, almost damaging the blinking device. Dib stared angrily at his father. "What are you doing?" Dib said. "You almost killed him!"

"I'm no doctor, son!" Membrane replied, rather upset with himself. "How am I supposed to know which tube to clip?" He picked up the clippers. Dib took a deep breath.

"Just... pick one. It doesn't matter which. Well... actually it does..." Dib look at the pak's insides. "...look, there are 3 tubes that are bigger than the others... try one of those." Membrane held up the clippers, but Dib stopped him. "But don't cut all 3 at once. Then he won't have any oxygen." Membrane nodded. He chose the tube furthest away from the blinking device. He lowered the clippers, ready to cut open the tube. Hesitantly, he readied himself to clip it. Finally, the clippers snapped closed, causing the tube to tear open.

The blinking device went dead.

Dib stared at the device, dumbstruck. He was _sure_ that those tubes were for the oxygen. _No... no way.. Zim...!_ Suddenly, the device began blinking red again, but more slower than how it had the last time. Dib and Membrane exhaled their breath. "Oh man..." Dib huffed, "That was way too close..."

"Okay... We'll start with this one." Membrane said. He picked up a large sponge sitting beside him, (who knows why he kept that in his closet) tore it in half, and stuffed it into the open tube. He brushed the tube on the open rim, then removed it. A cloud of black smoke puffed from the tube. He then worked on the inside, but hit something. Slowly, he pulled out what looked like an old cigarette.

"That idiot..." Dib sighed. "Zim actually tried to _eat_the cigarette!" Membrane gave his son a disgusted look, then threw away the cigarette into the trash bin next to him. "You don't think he tried to eat another one, do you?" Membrane asked.

"Nah... Zim's not stupid enough to try another one, knowing how bad it must have tasted." Dib replied. "The problem is, I think the cigarette was lit when he ate it... that must of done some real damage. I bee he didn't even open a window when he smoked."

"Nope." Membrane confirmed the thought. "When I went in his house, no windows were open."

_"Idiot..."_ Dib repeated. "Well... Lets keep going." Dib quickly glanced at Gaz, who was now clenching her heart. Her expression was total shock. Dib wondered... why did she care so much if Zim lived? She never did before.

Membrane continued, not succeeding in cleaning the open tube. "Agh... I can't reach far enough." He said. Dib reached for a screwdriver, placing the sponge on top of it.

"Just be careful not to tear any holes in it." Said Dib, referring to the tube. Membrane nodded. He then stuck the screwdriver into the tube, brushing it back and forth. He looked back at Dib. "It's just pushing the filth further in." He said. Dib became puzzled, but then hatched an idea.

"Alright... Dad, I need you to lift Zim's head up, let it lean over the edge of the table with the trash can under him." Membrane stared at him. Dib glanced at Zim, slightly disgusted. "I am going to make him throw up the filth." Dib could hear Gaz make a gaging noise in the back of the room. He rolled his eyes. "Just do it." He said. Membrane obeyed him. He scooted Zim's body slightly toward the edge of the table, letting his head hand off the edge. He quickly grabbed the trash can with his foot and put it under Zim's head. He held Zim's head up, completely disgusted at the idea.

"How are you going to make him throw up?" Membrane asked. Dib ran over to the sink, filled up an odd looking cup with warm water, then went back. He poored a few drops into the tube. Then, the took the sponge off of the screwdriver and stuck the screwdriver into the tube, making a circular motion. He was mixing the filth with warm water, making it wet. He pulled the screw driver - which was now covered in filth - from the tube, thinking of someway to push the wet filth back. He looked around the room, searching fro something... then he saw it. The vacum cleaner. It was broken, but it still might be able to help. He rolled it over by the table.

Membrane stared eagerly at his son, wondering how he knew all of these things.

Dib turned on the vacum. He jumped once the unusually powerful vacuum blasted out year old dust. He quickly turned it off, and smiled at his father. "I think this could work." He said. "Although... there's no wonder why we put it away for all these years. This was one of your experiments, right Dad? You wanted to make this vacuum more powerful, because it didn't always clean up all of the dirt around the house.. so I need you to be careful once Zim throws up the filth. Just... stand back." Membrane gulped. He took a step back, still holding up Zim's head. Dib connected the vacuum's tube to the open tube in Zim's pak, hesitating to turn it on 'blow'. He wondered if he could just suck the filth out of Zim, but discarded the thought. If he did that, some of Zim's organs might get damaged. Or worse, sucked into the vaccuum with this filth. He shuddered. Finally, he turned the vacuum on blow and almost immediately, the filth pushed itself further in the tube, and out Zim's mouth. Zim coughed and sputtered, suddenly becoming conscious. Dib smiled, knowing his idea was valid.

After a few moments of coughing up filth, Zim lowered his head and stared at the floor, wide eyed. Gaz stared at all of them, wondering if things were going smoothly. Then, Zim lifted his head, (Membrane had backed away right when Zim starting spitting up) and glared at Dib. _"What... what..." _was all that he could cough out. Dib continued to smile.

"Just relax, Zim. We're trying to save you." Dib said quietly. To his surprise, Zim glared _madly_ at Dib. Dib stared suspiciously at Zim's mouth. He went over to him, wondering what it was.

A cigarette.

Dib pulled out the trash can and began digging through it. More cigarettes. He looked back up at Zim, who was pretending to be distracted by something on the other side of the room. Dib frowned. "Zim... did you just cough up an entire pack of cigarettes?"

Zim tried not to meet Dib's eyes, but couldn't help it. _"I, eh.. I don't know what your talking about.."_ He coughed up four more. Dib growled.

"You idiot!" He exclaimed. "What the heck were you thinking!? It's one thing to smoke cigarettes, but to _eat_ them!? What's wrong with you!" Dib glared at Zim straight in the eye. Zim didn't respond. Dib groaned angrily, then returned to Zim's pak. Zim could feel him messing with it. _"Eh, eh, what are you doing?"_ He asked, still weakened.

"I'm re attaching the tubes. We still have two more to do." Dib replied. Zim gave a nervous expression, but hid it from Dib.

_Why are they saving me?_

Once Dib finished attaching the tube, he stared angrily at his father who was still in the back of the room, staring at the talking alien.

-

**Hehe... I enjoyed writing this chapter.**

**Nothing much to say at the moment...except... POOR ZIM! EEEEHHHH! ;**

**At least he's finally conscious.**

**StAy TuNeD!**


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